The Sword of Silence

Far too often we catch ourselves saying too much and wishing we could take back the words spoken. That theme has certainly been well explored. My thoughts today, however, wander over towards the side of saying too little. There are so many things that people need to hear us say. Besides the obvious "I love you" so often withheld, folks just need to know our feelings, the details of our past, our political views ... the truth. That can, of course, be a frightening thing and our world is filled with people who hide behind being the strong, silent type, being a martyr, simply avoiding conflict, you name it. Yet, we do a disservice to those whom we interact with when we choose to withhold too much of ourselves. There are certainly times not to speak out of courtesy, or to avoid betraying a trust. Truth must also not be employed as a vicious weapon. On the whole, however, we hold back too much and some folks will go to their graves with far too much left unsaid. They seem willing to let their marriages or other relationships be destroyed in order to avoid the discomfort of speaking their minds. We are social beings and were built to express our thoughts and feelings to others. It's just plain old good therapy as well, for all parties involved. So let's consider what we have been holding back. What is it that our spouses and children have been waiting to hear? What have we withheld from our parents or friends? Now, take a deep breath and take the plunge into better communication.

The Sword of Silence
Perhaps more potent than speech itself
is the elusive, unspoken word
Sometimes the cruelest message we convey
is the one which goes unheard
How much love, how much compassion
have been withheld, and so denied
By those who could not find the words
or buried them with pride
How many a child, a spouse, a friend
has waited in vain to hear
The words of approval they needed so
the very words they would hold so dear
Instead, they receive the silent treatment
which cuts through their hearts like a knife
Bringing pain no spoken word could bring
and crippling them for life
Even the difficult words cry out
to be laid on the table and shared
For we do a disservice to those we love
whenever the truth is spared
We tend to avoid the issues which
cannot be easily discussed
Yet, averting conflict in such a way
is also a breech of trust
We need to say the uncomfortable things
otherwise, they can never be solved
Silence is merely the coward's shield
to make progress we must get involved
Don't be the strong and silent type
or too shy to speak your mind
We need to say what we really feel
to do otherwise is simply unkind
But we also need to hear ourselves
say the words we fear so to speak
For a heart, unburdened, withers with time
growing cold and hard and weak
Just as we must do what has to be done
we must say what has to be said
Our feelings and thoughts, left unexpressed
might just as well be dead
So don't hold back, be bold and speak
the first word is the hardest part
A clumsy word from an honest heart
isn't much, but it's a start

By Frank Carpenter ©