A New Beginning

As we come to the brink of another new year, it’s a time to reflect upon the past and look forward to the future as well. If you had a great year then you’re probably hoping to maintain your momentum. Maybe 2011 fell below your expectations. If that’s the case, then a new year may hold the promise of a fresh start or a do-over. The wonderful thing about this life we live is that no one’s path is set in concrete, no destiny is yet determined, and every day offers the opportunity to change our course and adjust our sails. In that spirit, I offer the following essay as an encouragement to anyone who looks ahead to a different or brighter tomorrow. As I close I am reminded of a familiar chorus from the musical Annie which reminds us, “Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I love you, tomorrow. You’re only a day away.” That’s just what I was thinking.

A Ring Around The Moon
By Frank Carpenter
The iridescent moon was not quite full, though seeming somehow larger than usual... almost as if it filled the entire evening sky. And then there was the ring, that big beautiful ring around the moon. Not a small ring like halo or a belt. No, a giant, endless, wonderful ring. For that moment, the ring seemed to encircle all that I knew or could imagine. For that moment, the moon and the universe within the ring which enveloped it were everything. The silver sky, or something within it, held me entranced, as it were, for a time unmeasured, or immeasurable. Perhaps I lay there only for a moment, an instant, though it might just as well have been a lifetime.
Nonetheless, I felt as though everything changed during the encounter. That conclusion was unmistakable. The winds of change blew over me. Silently, sweetly, certainly. They were not such winds as I could detect merely with my senses, or which disturbed so much as a single blade of grass around me. They were were the winds which blow through our souls and swirl within our very being, the winds of inner change.
The moon was still there, and very much so. The ring was still there. Yet, suddenly, I became aware of other things around me. Other things which had long cried out to be noticed, to be understood. Whose voices had been carried away by other winds and drowned out by more urgent voices. Yet now I saw, I felt, I knew.
I became aware of the ground beneath me. How long had I lay there, in the wet grass beneath the moon and its ring? Ah, the ring. It had been raining for days. The ground was wet, more than wet. It more held me than supported me, but the feeling was not unpleasant. The grip of the wet ground against my back, against my long soaked clothing was a comfort, almost a relief. Without the pull of the moist earth, I might well have drifted off toward the moon above, lured by the intoxicating glow.
I could feel more than just the ground beneath me. There was more, much more. There was a whole world. The same world I had always known, yet which now seemed strange and wild and undiscovered. That was the change. I could no longer accept everything which before had been so clear, so concrete. I knew the world had not changed in the least, but I had. So, in relation to me, everything else must change as well. I inhaled deeply. Not the kind of breath which merely replenished oxygen in my lungs. I inhaled something better, deeper. It was a breath of life, of things so long left undone, unsaid, unknown. I was different.
However, I understood somehow that I could not be different alone. I must make the world around me to be different like me, or with me. Was it a calling? Perhaps more of an accepting. The acceptance of a call so long unheeded, one nearly snuffed out in the shuffle of daily life with its minutia of urgent details begging to be attended to. We get so busy with living that it becomes something less than living. I had forgotten how important every minute detail is. I had forgotten how very important life is. Now, I remembered.
All of this happened within the circle which held me through that time. The ring around the moon. Just an optical illusion, water vapor, reflected light, barometric pressure. Perhaps. Moon dust and magic are, however, somehow more appealing. A sign, a signal, a catalyst. It was enough. For whatever reason, I would never be the same. I could not, nor could anything else be. Blame it on the ring, the moon, the movie, romance, whatever. The world, the universe, were entirely different than they had been just a short time before. It matters not the reason, for the why and the hows only serve themselves, yet they would be our masters if we tarry long enough to let them enslave us. No, there are other more pressing issues at hand ... broader frontiers yet undiscovered. Let it begin.

May you have a blessed New Year ... and make it an even better one than the last.

God With Us

One last thought before we get to Christmas weekend. There are a lot of distractions this time of year. But let us all remember that the root word of Christmas is Christ. That is what we celebrate. So here's my take on the Christmas story based upon one of the names Isaiah foretold for the Messaiah. Emmanuel means "God with us" and that is exactly what Christmas is about ... about God choosing to be with us, to love us, and ultimately to redeem us. Merry Christmas to all!

 

Emmanuel

For centuries, we were in darkness

And God seemed so far away

But, in compassion, He reached out

To the world on Christmas day

Keeping his promise to rescue us

And bless man through Abraham’s seed

God offered the olive branch of a Savior

Showing His faithfulness indeed

After four hundred years of silence

God chose to among us dwell

Clothing Himself in human flesh

As the long awaited Immanuel

That is really what Christmas means

Not presents or trees nor snow

But the mighty God of the universe

Reaching out to men below

Immanuel means “God with us”

As the prophet Isaiah foretold

And the angel in Joseph’s dream confirmed

The messiah God promised of old

Jesus was born and laid in the manger

So long ago and far away

But that was just the beginning

And He is with us still today

As the victorious, risen Savior

Whom the Christ child grew into

Sent to reconcile men to God

And, at last, make all things new

So when you celebrate your Christmas

We pray you remember well

How God sent His only Son to us

As our Savior, Immanuel

     By Frank Carpenter       

Days of Infamy

Today is Pearl Harbor Day. Most of our parents and grandparents remember right where they were when they heard the news of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Those of us who are at least a generation away simply remember the poignant opening words of President Roosevelt’s speech to Congress: “Yesterday, December 7th 1941, a day which will live in infamy...” That attack drew the United States into World War II and the rest is history. As I considered this day, however, I realized that those of us who missed WWII recently had the opportunity to experience what Pearl Harbor felt like to the average American. That is because we lived through September 11, 2001. Like Pearl Harbor, that day brought an unprovoked surprise attack on American soil, resulting in a similar number of deaths. We experienced the shock, the sorrow and, eventually, the rise of an anger which cried out for justice. Perhaps all the more so because the September 11th attacks were primarily against civilians. Also, due to our modern technology, virtually every American repeatedly saw the news footage of the planes striking the World Trade Center and the collapse of the towers. So today is a day to think back over the years, to remember the events of 1941 and how they changed the course of history. I would encourage us to remember 2001 as well, for it evokes the same feelings and the war it sparked is still under way. That war is not just one of armed conflict, but a war of ideologies which will help to shape the next fifty years of history. As we look back on those two days, I offer a pair of poems which return us to that roller coaster of emotions. I wrote them both on September 11, while sitting at my desk that morning and watching the endless reruns of the images that terrible day brought to us. Below the poems, you will also find the entire text of FDR’s famous speech to Congress on December 8, 1941. I believe you may discover the emotions expressed therein to be familiar, even if you weren’t born yet. I daresay that “Happy Pearl Harbor Day” is most likely an inappropriate greeting to offer you, being something of an oxymoron. Nonetheless, I do encourage you to think long and hard on this day in history and take it’s lessons to heart as we march forward in the creation of our own current history. Every once in a great while there is a “day of infamy” ... and they must never be forgotten.

Somewhere in the Rubble
Somewhere in the rubble
At this moment, there are tears
Suffering we can’t imagine
The very worst of all our fears
Calamity in such proportion
That we can scarcely comprehend
Hours of darkness, just beginning
And we have yet to know their end
But somewhere in the rubble
In that city far away
Thousands still are clinging
To a thread of hope today
Our hearts are filled with anger
With bitter shock and with dismay
But let us not forget this hour
To pause and simply pray
For those who are in peril
And their would be rescuers
That God somehow may protect them
Give them strength to yet endure
That He might comfort those with loss
Give wisdom to the leaders there
And wrap His arms around this nation
In our hour of despair
Let us lift our prayers together
As we struggle just to cope
For somewhere in the rubble
There is still a ray of hope
By Frank Carpenter ©

The Heart of Freedom
Beware, you foes of freedom
Who dare to maim and kill
Who, by force, would stand against us
You have galvanized our will
You have struck the heart of freedom
Spilled sacred blood upon our soil
Stung the bastions of democracy
Yet, though we may recoil
Be it known, we shall not falter
In the midst of travesty
A sleeping giant has awakened
Which will rise from the debris
With a resolve and with a fury
Such as you have rarely known
Freedom’s mettle has been tested
And now its true strength shall be shown
By Frank Carpenter ©\

FDR’s Speech to Congress on December 8, 1941: "Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan. The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with the government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.

Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleagues delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack. It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace. The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu. Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands. Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island. This morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As commander in chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger. With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God. I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, Dec. 7, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire."

From site: http://odur.let.rug.nl/~usa/P/fr32/speeches/ph.htm

Information

I stumbled upon a quote recently from Albert Einstein which intrigued me: “Information is not knowledge.” This is a very profound statement by a man who was one of the great minds of the twentieth century and it got me thinking as well. I’m clearly not one of the great minds of either of the centuries I’ve lived in, but I had been pondering a similar subject of late. There is now so much information available to us, not just from books but also through our easy access to the nearly limitless data coffers of the internet. In fact, Einstein himself would probably be overwhelmed by how much we know … and can know. He missed the computer age by just a decade or two and the world has changed so much since then. However, I’m not here to sing the “aren’t we amazing” song. My interest today lies not in expounding our informational achievements, but in quantifying the value of the volume thereof. Especially in light of the advances in handheld wireless devices we have more information at our fingertips than we could previously even have imagined ... and we’re obsessed with it. The issue I see developing is that we seem to revel in accessing a broad spectrum of data, of facts, figures, news, opinion, history, gossip, technology, etc. However, I don’t always see it improving the quality of our lives, nor the value of our lives. This leads us to the next question. Fortunately, it was previously posed by someone more intelligent and articulate than me. The poet and critic T. S. Elliot once wrote, “Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?” Interestingly Elliot also died just a decade or two before the true computer age. Yet he, like Einstein, observed this phenomenon as early as the mid twentieth century. They both understood that just knowing things, and having access information, does not make us better as people, or as a society.

So for clarification, let me take Elliot’s wise words and condense them to a formula that Einstein may have appreciated:

           INFORMATION ≠ KNOWLEDGE ≠ WISDOM
In the spirit of the information age I myself went to the internet in search of a way to express my train of thought. I found an article on foundationsmag.com that helped clarify the difference between these three words. “What is this elusive quality called wisdom? How do we get it? … let’s begin taking a look at the four levels of thinking.

The first level is data-simple facts and figures. Second we have information. Information is data that’s been collected and organized. It is a reference tool. Something we turn to when trying to create something else. The third is knowledge. This is information that we have digested and now understand. Organized as knowledge, the information we have collected is given context. The fourth and final level is wisdom. Today, wisdom has become for many, indistinguishable from knowledge. But they are two different things. Often, what we find touted as wisdom is simply opinion. Knowledge is not wisdom. There is a big difference. Wisdom is the proper use of knowledge. To be more precise, wisdom is knowledge that has been applied in a way that takes into account all its pertinent relationships and that is consistent with universal laws.”

That’s exactly what I meant to say. There is an undercurrent of belief that our technology, our education, and the sheer data we posses makes us somehow better than our predecessors or those in third world countries. I’m not so sure because sometimes it seems that we have become dependent upon information, requiring larger and more convenient doses to satisfy us. That’s why it is important to differentiate between information, knowledge and wisdom. We may have become more technologically advanced, but it’s not clear that we have advanced morally or ethically, that we have grown in wisdom or character or virtue. These are the real measurements of better people or an elevated society. Our access to unlimited information does provide tools for actually making us better people, but so often they are lost in such an expansive mine of data that it can be difficult to dig out the nuggets that are really worth finding. There are just too many distractions, and as is the case in so many areas of our lives the good and the interesting tend to distract us from the great and the truly valuable. Thus we become, in a sense, intellectually ADD.

So, my friends, I would encourage us all not merely to fill our minds, but to improve our minds, not to mention our hearts and souls. Consider what would actually make you a better person, a better husband, father, mother, friend or citizen. Too much information without purpose actually makes us shallower rather than deeper. Wise Solomon once wrote: “Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding.” (Proverbs 3:13) Those would be fine words to live by, and they shed encouraging light on this subject. The secret to life lies not in what we know, but how we know it … and what we do with it.

Have a Little Faith

I had the pleasure and unique opportunity this afternoon to interview Brad Moore, president of Hallmark Hall of Fame Productions for the past twenty-nine years. We discussed their latest movie, Mitch Albom’s Have a Little Faith which premiers this Sunday, November 27, on the ABC Television Network. (9:00-11:00 ET) The movie is based upon Mitch Albom’s best-selling book of the same name, his first nonfiction work since Tuesdays With Morrie. Albom also wrote the screenplay and played a big part in the production. When I asked Brad what was so special about this film he replied, “It’s a wonderful story of redemption … a true story of regaining faith and overcoming cynicism.” That sounds to me like the kind of story we all need to hear. The synopsis from Albom’s web site seems to capture the beautiful dichotomy of this story best:

"Have a Little Faith begins with an unusual request: an 82-year-old rabbi from Albom’s old hometown asks him to deliver his eulogy. Feeling unworthy, Albom insists on understanding the man better, which throws him back into a world of faith he’d left years ago. Meanwhile, closer to his current home, Albom becomes involved with a Detroit pastor-a reformed drug dealer and convict-who preaches to the poor and homeless in a decaying church with a hole in its roof. Moving between their worlds, Christian and Jewish, African-American and white, impoverished and well-to-do, Mitch observes how these very different men employ faith similarly in fighting for survival: the older, suburban rabbi, embracing it as death approaches; the younger, inner-city pastor relying on it to keep himself and his church afloat. As America struggles with hard times and people turn more to their beliefs, Mitch and the two men of God explore issues that perplex modern man: how to endure when difficult things happen; what heaven is; intermarriage; forgiveness; doubting God; and the importance of faith in trying times … Have a Little Faith is a book about a life’s purpose; about losing belief and finding it again; about the divine spark inside us all. It is one man’s journey, but it is everyone’s story.”

This is just the kind of inspirational story we have come to expect from Hallmark Hall of Fame, but it’s also brought to life through an amazing all-star cast. Laurence Fishburne plays Henry Covington, a Detroit preacher who overcame a life of drugs and crime. Martin Landau is the aging New Jersey Rabbi, Albert Lewis, the spiritual and cultural counterpart to Covington. In the middle is Mitch Albom, played by Bradley Whitford. Covington’s wife, Annette is portrayed by Anika Noni Rose. There is every indication that the chemistry between these outstanding actors perfectly compliments Albom’s already very personal story in a way that gleans all the emotion and meaning from his original words. In the case of a writer as gifted as Albom that’s a very tall order to fill, but they definitely do.

In the words of Brad Moore, Have a Little Faith is “deeply moving … and very satisfying.” Brad’s excitement about this film was definitely contagious and I’m truly looking forward to seeing it this Sunday evening. I would encourage my readers to do the same. I believe it promises a welcome and insightful look at two relevant versions of faith that we should all understand better, but it is also a wonderful launching point for further and deeper conversations. That’s why it would be a good movie to watch with either friends or family. It offers something beyond mere entertainment value. The very title is intriguing to us, especially in these difficult times, and it promises some hope to people that they might discover something within themselves, or beyond themselves. Without a doubt many on either end of the religious spectrum will find some spiritual shortcomings or feel like they may have been underrepresented. But this isn’t a film about doctrine or about whose faith is the right one. It acknowledges a higher power in a way that can appeal to a broad audience. It’s a starting point to get your own intellectual, spiritual and emotion gears turning. That’s one of the reasons I believe it has so much value. Watch it with an open mind and an open heart. Then talk about it. Just as Mitch Albom finds himself in the middle, between two faiths, many people in our society find themselves in the middle as well. That’s a good starting place for anyone … so share it with someone.

It’s been a pleasure for me to learn about this inspirational story and the people involved in it. Many thanks to Brad Moore, of Hallmark Hall of Fame, for taking the time to speak with me this afternoon, and to Grace Hill Media for making that possible. Remember that Have a Little Faith airs this Sunday evening on ABC. Every once in a while a story comes along that tugs at our hearts, one that supports traditional values and challenges all of us to take our eyes off of ourselves for a few hours and to look up together. This is one of those stories. I could not think of a better way to close today than to simply encourage all of you to just … Have a Little Faith.

The Call of God

Today I’d like to share a poem which I actually employed here once before, way back in 2004. But I came across a quote this week that re-framed the context of it for me. One of the things I enjoy about my poetry, and the written word in general, it that it has a long shelf life and God continually finds new uses for it. I had picked up the book “Wild at Heart” once again and opened to a page containing the following quote from Oswald Chambers:

“There comes the baffling call of God in our lives also. The call of God can never be stated explicitly, it is implicit. The call of God is like the call of the sea; no one hears it but the one who has the nature of the sea in him. It cannot be stated definitely what the call of God is to, because his call is to be in comradeship with himself for his own purposes, and the test is to believe that God knows what He is after.”

As my readers may know I have a clear affinity for the sea, or as Chambers so eloquently put it, “the nature of the sea” in me. So this quote speaks directly to my heart. I’m also reminded that we have a creative God who speaks to each man in a still small voice that is personalized to that man’s heart. In my case, God used the sea. But He might just as well speak to the engineer in practical terms, to the geologist through the physical world, or to the astronomer through the skies. Whoever we are, wherever we are, whatever we are going through, God speaks to us in a voice that our heart will best understand. Bible translators are committed to their work because they understand that God may speak most effectively to people in their native tongue. And God knows every language, not only the written and verbal languages of men, but the unwritten languages of the human heart as well. So if you seek to hear God listen to him in your unique areas of passion and openness. Most importantly though, listen for God and be open to His call. He is almost never silent. The problem is that we are far too often deaf.

So now I shall return to my own example. There was a time when I didn’t even believe there was a God. However, it was clear to me that something was going on because I understood that some of the people who professed to believe in him were different than other people I knew. So I sought them out. Yet, God understood that the only way to get through to me was to speak to me in the language of my heart. I have always loved the ocean and God wisely engaged that passion in order to engage me. The below poem explains to true story of my conversion and the creative and personal way in which God eventually got through to me.

I still try to be open to God’s calling, especially in this current season of my life. My question for each of you today is, “How is God speaking to you?” We need to continue listening for His voice, not merely with our ears, but with our hearts as well.

Out of the Depths
I feel so very small sometimes
when I look upon the sea
Imagining its vast expanse
its awesome power and majesty
The sea was my one first true love
and the thing that I adored
The wonder of it pierced my heart
and brought me to my Lord
For I would not believe in God
or trust that He could be
However those who claimed I should
sought to prevail upon me
Their arguments were well rehearsed
and true enough, I deemed
But I required something more
I lacked the key it seemed
Yet, God called upon His advocate
the mighty sea I loved so dear
Which softened up my heart in time
and sought to draw me near
How many times He called to me
as I sat upon the land
In a thundering voice I could not hear
but longed to understand
Countless nights I sat alone
and gazed across the sea
So unaware that every wave
was God's own call to me
Yet God wore down my disbelief
as ocean waves might do
And brought me to the moment when
my life-long search was through
He piloted my restless soul
to quiet waters and a quay
Where He came aboard my empty heart
and promised He would stay
And now, all these year later
I pause to look out on the swells
And thank God for the choice He brought me to
for it has served me well
I thank Him for the beauty
and the power of the sea
From which He chose to reach out
and take hold of such as me
May I ever gaze upon it and
in so doing, see His face
Rediscovering His majesty
and the wonder of His grace
        By Frank Carpenter ©

To Live the Life

We all have standards that we live by, or seek to live up to. Everyone believes in something, whether it’s God, people, a moral compass, or a commitment to some universal truths. According to whatever code we subscribe to, we tend to live in a certain manner. The interesting thing is that not everyone lives according to what they profess. I’m certainly not one to judge because I’m just as “human” as anyone else, but take a look at all the people you know and most of us fall short of our own words in some way. The other interesting thing about this line of thinking is that our lives actually tell, and sometimes even betray, what we actually believe. In other words, what we do provides the forensic evidence for examining what we say and what we believe. The best test of any credo is a life of living it.

I for one believe in God and desire, in the words of the Apostle Paul, “to live a life worthy of the calling to which I have been called.” I encourage you to take a serious look at what you say you believe and how it has proved out in your daily life. In the meantime I will take the liberty of offering my own credo in the form of the following poem.

To Live the Life
Lord, I want to live the life
Which you have called me to
To follow you wholeheartedly
Rather than just muddle through
Lord, I want to be your servant
Each moment of each day
And not just on Sunday mornings
Please, Lord, show me the way
To be true to you regardless
Of the cost that I must that must bear
To trust you with my future
To always love and care
Lord, teach me how to sacrifice
To worship and to pray
To be a shining light for you
In all I do and say
May I be a fragrant offering
Bringing glory, Lord, to you
For I desire to live the life
Which you have called me to
          By Frank Carpenter ©

Simple Pleasures

In our modern world of lightening communication, high definition video, and immediate gratification we have become accustomed to a host of stimuli which were unknown only a couple of decades ago. Now we tend to build up a resistance to entertainment, requiring ever-increasing does of it to satisfy us. Such pleasures increasingly fall prey to the law of diminishing returns. But when we step back and survey the true pleasures in life they still turn out to be the simple ones. While we may be temporarily wowed by our own creations, in the end most of us respond best to those things which we did not create. It’s been my good fortune to spend some extended time out of doors in recent weeks, which has enabled me to rediscover my own response to beauty and nature. During that time my life has also been very relational, reminding me how much I enjoy the company of others. I have, in short, reconnected with the simple pleasures in my life, the responsive joy which I believe is inherently a part of our identity. There’s just no telling what you may discover if you can just turn off the television, disconnect the computer, power down the cell phone, and simply get outdoors. Whether your backdrop is the ocean, the mountains, the desert, the plains, or even the tiny park at the end of the street, something special awaits you there. You don’t need a grand adventure with a bunch of equipment. You don’t need to take a week’s vacation. You just need to step outside without an agenda. Watch the sunset, smell some flowers, take a walk on the beach, or just observe a tree swaying in the breeze. And if you can share the experience with some like-minded person then all the better. The point is to break the monotony, turn off the electronics, and live a little differently … even if it’s only for a short time.

We often grow so accustomed to being entertained that we lose track of just being. So take a weekend, a day, an hour, a moment. Take some time to live, and look for some of the simple pleasures in life, I guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.

Simple Pleasures
When I survey my daily life
I find the simplest of things
Are what matter to me most of all
And the greatest pleasure bring
The morning sun upon my face
The song of birds nearby
The trees which dance upon the breeze
Every moment, a small surprise
The countless blessings on my path
Which greet me all the while
The quiet feeling deep within
That wells into a smile
Life is dotted with experience
And there are moments grand and fine
But the simple things that touch my heart
Bring a sense of the divine
                  By Frank Carpenter ©

Change & Growth

My granddaughter just turned one this past weekend. As I’ve observed her over the recent months I never cease to be amazed at how she quickly she grows and changes. In fact, at her age change is the norm. She recently learned to walk, she has babbled her first words, and she is absorbing life like a cute little sponge. For her, literally everything is new and fascinating and exciting. All of this has gotten me thinking about how different our “adult” lives are from hers. Obviously we all stop growing taller at some point, but somewhere along the way many people also reach an age of equilibrium where they stop growing intellectually and emotionally as well. We settle down, get comfortable, and begin to shun change. This can be a dangerous thing, for once our hearts and minds become less pliable they begin to atrophy. In short, we remain the same. In my opinion this has at least the perceived effect of aging us. Another interesting side-effect of this common condition is that we begin to judge others who may choose not to stay the same as us. That is a defense mechanism which helps to justify our own position. Is this who we wish to be? When I was in the middle of writing this, I stumbled across the following thoughts in Sarah Young’s devotional: “Without any conscious awareness, they make their habitual responses. People who live this way find a dullness creeping into their lives. They sleepwalk through their days, following well-worn paths of routine. God, the Creator of the universe, is the most creative Being imaginable. He will not leave you circling in deeply rutted paths. Instead, He will lead you along fresh trails of adventure, revealing to you things you did not know.” What a great perspective.

Newton’s first law of motion states that a body in rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Do we want to stay at rest, or in motion? Stability and security are a comfort, but they can also put us into bondage as we fight to main maintain and protect them. I, for one, desire something more. One of my grown children mentioned a while back that I was very predictable. It may even have been intended as a compliment, but I want to be just a bit unpredictable. I want to be interesting. Why not be adventurous once in a while? I’ve always appreciated C.S. Lewis’ description of the lion, Aslon. “Is he safe? No … but he is good.” That offers some food for thought because we are entirely too safe. I earnestly desire my character, faith and integrity to be consistent. However, my goal is for those qualities to manifest themselves creatively and dynamically so that they provide inspiration rather than justifying a rut.

What do you want for your own life? Are you too predictable? Do you want to be? I, for one, desire something more than a steady, quite suburban life. We need to keep changing and growing and responding. Let us not put down the roots of comfort and complacency so deeply that we become as immovable trees. We should never consider ourselves as done or complete. Each life is a work in progress. Each person is also a work in progress. So, like my granddaughter, we need to let go, lean forward, and see where our feet take us. That is what life if all about.

Memorial Day

This weekend is Memorial Day. This is the day each year when we, as a nation, celebrate the mortal sacrifices of our service men and women who have lost their lives in defense of this great nation. The exact origin of this tradition remains a little unclear, but it certainly grew out of the Civil War and some type of official celebration began shortly thereafter. At first it was Decoration Day, when the graves of fallen soldiers were decorated to honor them. Then it seems to have grown from there. For those of you interested in such history, I have pasted below what seems to be the actual history of Memorial Day for your further reading. At this time, however, I only wish to encourage any who read these words to remember those who have paid the ultimate price for the freedoms we all enjoy. Remember, also, that brave American men and women are out their risking their lives at this very moment on our behalf. I will not here endeavor to engage anyone on the politics of our current conflicts overseas, except to state our countrymen have died there and continue to live in harm’s way so they, both the living and the dead, deserve all of our honor, respect and support. Today is the day to hang up your flag, to say a prayer, perhaps even make a phone call or write a letter to those who have lost loved ones … or live daily with the fear thereof. Please don’t let this day pass without some act or thought of patriotism and gratitude. To that end, I offer the following poem in honor of those who paid the ultimate price for this great nation and our personal liberties.

Song of Freedom
Still ringing are the battle cries
Of freedom from the past
Sung out by brave young men who spilled
Their blood and breathed their last
Still waving is the flag
They proudly served and held aloft
Yet, we must be ever wary
Lest our resolve grows dim and soft
Our children need to know the legacy
Of freedom which is theirs
As the gauntlet passes on to them
For they are freedom's heirs
Sons and daughters of a liberty
Which was born of trial and strife
Paid for dearly by the countless men
Who gave both limb and life
We must keep the fire burning
May we never let it die
So our children's children's children
Know the sound of freedom's cry
It's not enough to just be born here
We have to guard our liberty
And pass it on so generations
In the future will be free
          By Frank Carpenter ©

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with over two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women's groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, "Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping" by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication "To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead" (Source: Duke University's Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920). While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it's difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day. It is more likely that it had many separate beginnings; each of those towns and every planned or spontaneous gathering of people to honor the war dead in the 1860's tapped into the general human need to honor our dead, each contributed honorably to the growing movement that culminated in Gen Logan giving his official proclamation in 1868. It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 - 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis' birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.

Traditional observance of Memorial day has diminished over the years. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, neglected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

Information from : http://www.usmemorialday.org/backgrnd.html

Finishing Well

There is a tendency among people, especially men, to grow sour in their later years. We’ve all seen it, experienced it. This tendency comes on slowly, almost imperceptivity, then one day we suddenly notice how patience wears thin, criticism loses it constructiveness, and humor begins to bite more. The years should make us better, wiser, and more patient and more appreciative. Time should soften and improve us like a fine wine. In many cases the years do have this effect. Yet far too often we come across those who become embittered and emotionally burdensome, just when they have the experience and leisure to be the greatest blessing. And that’s what it’s all about, really. We want to love people and be loved by them. We want to leave a positive legacy for our families. Why then do so many squander the opportunity to set up as the mature fount of wisdom, the experienced confidant, and the spiritual mentor? It’s difficult to understand, because I would think that one of the loftiest goals in life should be to finish well. By this I don’t mean dying well, but living well.


Finishing well is the ultimate confirmation of a life well-lived, the litmus test of all we have professed during the previous decades. I must here clarify that I’m not speaking about money. Although these principles definitely apply thereto, finishing well financially is always subordinate in importance to the other areas of life … especially if significant sacrifices were made in order to attain a strong financial finish. In the end the comfort and security that wealth at least promises is but chaff in comparison to relational and character considerations. To me, finishing well is all about relationships: with friends, with family, with our community, and with God. Maintaining healthy relationships in each of those spheres is an indication that we understand what is truly important in life and we have sought to cultivate it. Sadly, many folks don’t think about this and turn slowly inward as their years progress, becoming ever more selfish and myopic. In time they become the aunts and uncles, parents, grandparents and friends who complain that no one ever comes to visit them. Even some people who were gregarious and generous with themselves in middle age far too often grow otherwise later on.

However, this does not have to be so. We can make choices all through our lives to keep from growing sour so that our later years can still be the most meaningful years of our lives, not only for us but also for those we care about. Even at fifty, I’ve been engaging my own friends and family members on this subject for a number of years. My plan is that if we are discussing our desire not to grow sour then we can hold one another accountable. I’m not going to wait for the people I care about to stop calling and visiting me. In fact, I’m going on the offensive because I want to be the son, father, grandpa, uncle, neighbor, and friend that I hope others will be to me. So I call, I write, I text and Facebook. I try to be proactive in every sphere of my relationships so that I’m fully engaged with people, and I encourage them to do the same. And, as I’ve written previously, I work hard to be a blessing to others, which also turns out to be the path to receiving the blessing of relationship from them. The fact is that we generally get out of life only what we put into it. This becomes even more important in our later years when we’re easier to forget or overlook. But if we make ourselves relationally indispensible then we aren’t likely to be alone. A big part of finishing well is about continuing to sow the seeds of love and joy throughout our lives, which often yields a rich harvest of happiness.

Please excuse me, but I can’t close this discussion without some mention of faith. For this is another area where I have observed people growing sour and losing heart later in live. Faith is such an important part of our existence, perhaps even the reason for our existence, that it can never be overlooked when we are reviewing the big picture of our lives. A relationship with God is much like our other relationships. It requires effort and maintenance, with a proactive approach and continued involvement in related activities. Old age isn’t a time to set the spiritual auto pilot, but a season to build upon a lifetime of faith and share our wisdom with others. It’s important that the spiritual matriarchs and patriarchs of any group or family continue to shine the light of example throughout their lives.

So however you may have started, finishing well is perhaps the most important part of life. Wherever we are, whatever we might have done, for better or for worse. We have the option of finishing well, of finishing better. However, the way we finish isn’t a choice we make at some distant point in our existence. Rather, it’s a series of choices that add up to a life well-lived … and maintaining that momentum through the final lap. May yours be such a life so that it continues to touch the lives of countless others.

A Part of Me

At times it becomes abundantly clear that life isn’t always fair. As I write this several people in my extended sphere of contacts are confronting the harshest realities of our own mortality. When we reach those inevitable junctures in our lives, some earlier than others, often the only control we have over the situation is how we choose to respond to it. Much of that has to do with how we manage relationships and one of the gifts we can give our loved ones, if we are allowed the opportunity, is the closure they need and deserve. Today, I take the liberty of sharing a poem I was asked to write on behalf of someone with a terminal illness. The goal was to communicate some important feelings of closure in advance while providing a keepsake poem that might still provide connection and comfort at a later time. This is the result, and it has been shared through many similar situations over the years. I hope it may touch a note of comfort in your own life. Also, please feel free to share it with anyone else who might appreciate it for their particular situation. That’s all I’m going to write today, and I’ll let this verse speak for itself.


A Part of Me
A part of me is dying
This fact is looming, close at hand
And overwhelms us to the point
That we can hardly understand
Or even bear to reconsider
Just how fortunate we are
To have known such people in our lives
Who make goodbye so hard
To have known the joy of living
Which some people never find
To have found that life, though fleeting
Was worth the living, and not unkind
Yes, a part of me is dying
But let us not dwell upon
What lies so far beyond control
In time, you'll have to carry on
So please remember that a part of me
Will stay right here with you
Alive and well, within your heart
Through everything you do
There's a part of me you'll always have
That no one can take away
The things we share and understand
Which will last beyond today
But far too soon the time will come
When my life here is through
And the emptiness you feel inside
Will mean I took a part of you
         By Frank Carpenter ©

Friends Forever

Some years ago dear friends, who have been a big part of our lives, moved away. As token of their commitment to stay in touch they gave us a concrete stepping stone with words “friends forever” on it. All these years later that little monument still sits right outside our front door. And, true to its sentiments, we remain very close to that entire family. A while back I wrote the below poem for those friends to commemorate our ongoing devotion to them. Then just the other day the stepping stone caught my eye again and I was reminded how fortunate our family has been in the area long-term relationships. We have a score of family friendships that have lasted decades. In fact, I’ve been known to proclaim that our greatest wealth is in relationship. God has specifically blessed us in this area. This also serves to remind me that we should all be aware of our true friends and work proactively to maintain those relationships. Often we don’t tell people how we feel and they deserve to know it. So call someone and reaffirm your friendship today.


Perhaps, however, you don’t feel surrounded by friends. Hey, it happens. One of the first things in establishing friendships is belonging to groups with a common interest. For instance, many of our relationships trace their foundations back to church, where we have met many other couples with similar interests or children of similar ages over the years. Work, or any other activity, can provide common interest groups as well. One of the other best ways to find friends is simply to be one. For, like so many other areas of our lives, we get from relationships only what we’re willing to put into them. I wish you good fortune in this area as it can be one of the most meaningful aspects of life.

What I do know is that friends have been an amazing blessing to me, to our entire family, throughout the years. They have increased the joy of celebration and tempered the pain of sorrow. They have provided wisdom and encouragement when it was most needed. And occasionally they have reminded me that I was an inconsiderate idiot who should either shut up or apologize … or both. I’ve tried hard to be a good friend to others and found, almost without exception, that those efforts bore much fruit in the form of love and friendship returned. So I will close today by simply offering my gratitude to those special people in my life who have helped to make the journey so worthwhile. Your friendship has made a difference that I thank God for every day!

Friends Forever
As the years go marching by
And friends in life come and go
I realize most will slip away
But there are some we’ll always know
Time threshes out relationships
Years blow the chaff away
Until we discover the friends who go
And the ones who are bound to stay
These are the people we cherish
And we know we’re never alone
Because true friends are forever
Those words are set in stone
              By Frank Carpenter ©

A Parent's Calling

A very long time ago I used to subscribe to an obscure newsletter called Dads Only that was filled with parenting advice. Once I came across a little verse in that publication which has stayed with me all through the years: “Could I fail him? Could I let him down, this youth, in a world of trouble and sham? God, grant me the strength of body and mind, to be the man he thinks I am.” My kids were small when I first read those words, but I’ve tried to be true to the spirit of that little prayer over the last couple of decades. Though it’s written for and by a man I hold that it applies to all parents. The fact is that, at any age, we are such an important part of our children’s lives and they look to us for validation, guidance, and example. It’s a lofty calling, but we really do need to be who our children think we are … and who they need us to be. Furthermore, this remains important throughout our lives. When our children are small we may be their whole world. During their formative years they still need us to live up to their expectations, and as they move toward and through adulthood we need to continue showing them the path to follow. I know it sounds like a tall order, but that’s what we sign up for when we choose to be parents. And even if we become parents by accident it’s a commitment that we should have considered in advance.


Our lives are the window that our children, of any age, view the world through. The sarcastic saying, “do what I say and not what I do” is completely ludicrous. Our children will emulate us throughout our entire lives. They have that right to do so. As parents then, we have an obligation to live in a manner that we will be comfortable with our children emulating. If we don’t want our kids to smoke, drink, swear or whatever then we ought not. If we don’t want them to cheat, act violently or get divorced then we must not. If our desire is for them to be kind, selfless or faithful then we must be. In a very real way, we are the mold that continues to shape their lives long after our genetic contribution. The same holds true when they have grown up and moved out on their own. This is our calling as parents. Are you up for the challenge? You have to be, because if you have kids of any age they are watching you right now and, more than likely, you are their role model.

What's in a Name?

A recent conversation with a friend took an unexpected turn and we ended up discussing the names we have for ourselves, and the names others have for us. I’m not referring to the actual names on our birth certificates so much as the names we collect in life that are descriptors or identifiers. Take a moment to recall what you may have been called by others in your life recently, or how you may have referred to those around you. I can identify many instances where I have labeled people in my life, some edifying, but others clearly deleterious and demeaning.

Just for sport, let’s take a look at some super heroes as overt examples of how we relate to names. First of all we have Superman, Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel. These names indicate strengths or character.
Then there others with names that describe specifics about their identity or physical attributes, like: Aqua Man, Spider Man, Iron Man, Batman, Batgirl, Ice Man, and so on. This might seem silly, but it illustrates how names identify us in a way that nearly all of us are familiar with. Might point is that the names we gather, as well as those we cast upon others, say something important about us. Now I’m going to move on, but if for some reason you find this paragraph interesting you can go to www.superheronames.net to look up your favorites or try out the Super Hero Name Generator.

It is important what we call others because labeling can have a powerful influence in people’s lives. I recently corrected a father who was jokingly calling his daughter “booger” as a silly pet name. What if such a name, even offered in jest, stuck with someone? My suggestion was to call a little girl princess, sunshine, or beautiful in order to glean any emotional benefit those names might offer. However, I am clearly a re-namer and have referred to each of my children with dozens of silly names through the years, though I’ve generally tried to keep them positive. We all seem to recall cases where parents have called their children stupid, lazy, worthless, ugly, fat, loser, and so forth, only to have those labels stick, at least emotionally, and affect those children into adulthood. Furthermore, negative labeling usually refers to our worst traits, rather than ones that it would be more fruitful to accentuate. And remember that even if we label people behind their backs those names can stick and catch up with them eventually. Even a mature adult, when confronted with such labels as those listed above, can start to take them to heart. Those are the kind of seemingly small things in life that tend to erode our self esteem over time, and even cause us to make choices that confirm, or conform to, negative labeling by others. It’s not even necessary to use a specific derogatory label to affect people adversely. Thoughtless offhanded comments about hair, clothing, physique, test scores, cars, money, intelligence, and so on tend to label, especially if the recipient is already sensitive regarding something about themselves that they perceive as a shortcoming. On the other hand, we have ample opportunity every day to sow seeds of encouragement with positive labeling and complimentary language. That’s the simplest way to enrich the lives of others, and make the world a better place for everyone. I have a favorite bible verse that I’ve memorized and even have referenced on the screen of my cell phone to remind me how to treat others. “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is suitable for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it might bring grace to those who hear.” ~ Ephesians 4:29. Those are great words to live by … and everyone in your life will appreciate them as well.

I also want to touch briefly on what we call ourselves. Our own perceived persona is critical to how we approach life, and all the people in it. If we think of ourselves in a negative light it has a measurable impact on our lives. People who think they are either winners or losers often prove themselves right by living up to, or down to, their own expectations. Do you think of yourself as: witty, fun, deep, smart, kind, energetic, happy, outgoing, successful, etc.? Or do you think of yourself as: dumb, boring, shy, silly, small, poor, hopeless, etc.? These are important questions because they direct our daily intercourse with others, and may even affect our destiny. Now it’s not quite as simple as saying you are what you think. There’s a lot of effort required in life as well. However, you may well become who you think you are over time. Our perceived identity certainly aims our actions and reactions. For example, if you expect very little of yourself you probably won’t be disappointed. Now we do all have certain bents, various physical attributes, and personality types. That’s what makes us … well, us. But some of us are carrying baggage, heaped upon us by our upbringing, past relationships, addictions, or unhealthy behavior. We live with names others have given us instead of looking to the best of ourselves for our identity. What do you call yourself? What would you like to call yourself? Start living towards that new name.

I would also like to call your attention to someone important who seems to change names. God. Historically, God change names as He has interacted with his people though in the bible. These name changes generally reflected His interruption of their previous lives for something better. Here are few examples: When God called Abram He renamed him to Abraham. Likewise, God renamed Abraham’s wife Sarai to Sarah. He renames Jacob to Israel. In the New Testament God renamed Simon to Peter (the Rock), and Saul to Paul. There are also biblical instances where God assigns someone an identity rather than an actual name change. An example would be when He called Gideon mighty warrior, even though Gideon had previously been living with an inferiority complex. But Gideon became a might warrior. The point is that God may have a different name for you than the rather ordinary one you have been living with. God takes the broken, the lonely, and the weary and gives them names of hope and victory. There is an obscure song about this that I really enjoy which goes like this: “I will change your name, you shall no long be called wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid. I will change your name, your new name shall be, confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one, faithfulness, friend of God, one who seeks my face.” So if you’re not happy with the label you’ve hung upon yourself, or perhaps the ones others have thoughtlessly placed upon you, start with some prayer and the bible and see if maybe God has a better name reserved for you. I’d be more than happy to discuss this further with anyone who is interested as well. You just never know.

Now I’ve bounced around a bit today, from child psychology to super heroes to Old Testament patriarchs and I realize that might be a little too much ground to cover for some people. However, I wanted to take a very broad look at this subject. Returning to the title question, what’s in a name? I would say a great deal, so I encourage you to take a closer look how you refer, or infer, to both others and yourself. Refuse to live with, or dispense to others, a label with negative connotations. Who are you, really?

Bar Hopping

No, this isn’t really about bar hopping, at least not in the traditional sense. It has to do with sandbars. Upon reflection, it occurred to me that my recent entries have been pretty serious and perhaps a little levity was order. Last summer we were sailing on the Chesapeake with friends and our generous host offered me the wheel. I was delighted; delighted to be there and delighted to pilot their large and exceptional sailboat. And what could be better? I was engaged in my favorite leisure activity with some of my favorite people in a scenic new locale. The world was my oyster … for about twenty minutes, after which I promptly ran their beautiful boat aground on a sand bar. It wasn’t a real emergency, and the situation was promptly rectified. In fact, the only damage was to my pride. But hey, it happens. In fact, there’s an old adage that there are only two kinds of sailor: those who have run aground … and liars. Either way, after a few minutes we were back under way and still had an amazing day out on the water. My little grounding incident just became a funny story recounted in the poem below.


I can’t help commenting, however, that no matter how idyllic life may be we all run aground once in a while. And the same adage holds true in the broader world of experience that there are only two kinds of people in the world: those who have had problems, and liars. Sometimes the channel isn’t clearly marked, but more often we’re just careless … like me. But the sand bars should not define our journey. They are just bumps along the way and we need focus on the open waters ahead that still hold so much in store for us. My advice to you is to beware of shallow water and obstacles like sand bars, and avoid the ones you can. But when you do find yourself stuck in the mud, get unstuck and sail on. Some people just stay there in the mud for their whole lives and miss the other amazing parts of the cruise. I say sail on … and bon voyage!

Bar Hopping
It all began innocently enough
With a gentle breeze fair on the beam
As we ghosted down the South River
An idyllic day, out of a dream
The skipper offered me the wheel
And I accepted cheerfully
So, taking the con, I sailed on
Things were going swimmingly
Then, of a sudden, the depth alarm
Began to emit its telltale squeal
Moments later the helm took on
An unusually sluggish feel
Apparently the officer of the watch
Lulled into complacency
Had strayed from the center channel
And drifted off course, you see
One moment there was a bow wave
And the Eastern Shore beckoned afar
The next we were dead in the water
When Frank stuck us hard on the bar
The crew all raced to the lee rail
The skipper reclaimed the Wheel
And we got her off in a moment
With vigorous seamanship and zeal
“It’s OK, no harm, no foul”
The skipper was quick to proclaim
It was just a little mud, after all
But mud had become my name
Yet, disaster was averted
So everyone enjoyed their day
And after I clean the other head
I’m allowed to go out and play
            By Frank Carpenter ©

Courageous Hearts

It seems like there is a lot of trouble in the world right now, and I know more folks than ever who are struggling through difficult times. The economy has hit many people hard in both their business and personal lives. There is sickness, which within my own extended circle of contacts has come in some forms that I’ve never before experienced. Marriages and relationships are in trouble, and children have issues. There is homelessness and unemployment and life is just more complicated than it was a few years ago. These are the kind of issues that many of us live with as our current reality, and they serve as a reminder that we can’t always choose our circumstances. However, we can choose how we will respond to those circumstances. That is the one thing which no one can take away from us.


Whether we experience only small problems or we are overwhelmed with what life is throwing at us, the freedom to choose our response is what determines how we’ll get through … and who we are. We have the opportunity each day to make courageous choices that can give our life the dignity and meaning that can make it so worthwhile. Yes, I did use the word courageous. You don’t have to be a Marine or a fireman or a policeman in order to be courageous. Each one of us, from the greatest to the least needs courage. Our choices may sometimes seem small, but they are still the choices which define us. They build our character and integrity, they prove our commitment to other people, they bring honor to our roles at home and in the workplace, and they are what carry us through the difficulties we face each day. The critical virtue of courage is the catalyst which transforms an ordinary life into an extraordinary life. You don’t need to lead a battle charge, rush into a burning building or jump out of an airplane to be courageous. All you have to do is make wise choices throughout your daily life. Perhaps you may be called upon to face physical danger at some point in your life. Either way, I guaranty that you face emotional, moral and spiritual danger every day. And in those situations, which are often more difficult to identify than physical danger, we still have the opportunity to do something heroic at every juncture.

It’s so tempting to compromise in our busy and pressured world, and it always seems like there is an easier choice available that would simplify our lives. But courageous people make honorable and difficult choices even when they don’t feel like it. When we’re tired, or busy or running late it’s tempting to choose poorly. If you’re overworked or underappreciated it’s easy to respond selfishly. When the kids are getting to you, or some other relative or friend offends you the natural response is to lash out at them. When you’re doing your taxes or filling out loan documents the temptation to fudge a little presents itself. If you’re sitting in front of your computer and an inappropriate email or advertisement beckons, the most natural thing is to click on it out of curiosity. When you have everyone’s attention why not embellish your story? When folks put us on the spot it’s so simple to fabricate a little lie to protect ourselves or deflect the blame. Each of these moments, regardless how seemingly insignificant, is a test of our courage. Sure, nobody cares, no one is looking, no one will ever find out. No harm, no foul right? We can rationalize things however we like but each choice, like a single tap of the sculptor’s hammer, has an effect upon us in the long run. Each of those instances presents an opportunity to make a courageous choice. Courageous people do the right thing, even when no one is looking.

And if we develop a life of making courageous small choices, when the big ones come along or larger danger looms it will come naturally to continue choosing wisely. The small acts of courage, like the training of an athlete, prepare us for the defining moments of our lives when the chips are really down and much more is at stake. That is when heroes are made … the dramatic heroes we read about in the paper, but also the quiet heroes all around us who are the salt and light of this world.

If you’re going through difficult times right now you’ll be faced with situations and decisions that will test and stretch you. Embrace them and choose wisely so that you may emerge from this dark period as a better person. If things seem to be going great you will have different temptations, but they’ll still be there. Whatever your circumstance, remember that a courageous life will be an extraordinary life. And that is my hope and prayer for you today.

Hearts Courageous
There are those who shove their hands into their pockets
And walk off the field before the game is done
Who quit, forlorn, admitting they are beaten
And concede before they hear the final gun
But there are others who rise up to meet the challenge
And who never give a thought to their defeat
Who are winners, regardless of the scoreboard
Who give everything they have with each heartbeat
These are the ones who run when most are walking
Though muscles ache and sweat streams in their eyes
Who find hope to carry on when all seems hopeless
And forge ahead without a shred of compromise
When the battle rages and the team is slipping
Men of fortitude are always set apart
Not only by their deeds, but by their efforts
And the strength they find within courageous hearts
          By Frank Carpenter ©

Feed the Good Wolf

There is an old Cherokee legend known as the story of the two wolves. In this story, loosely paraphrased, an old grandfather conveys to his grandson that there are two wolves within him who contend for control of his life. One is noble and good, while the other is dark and evil. When the grandson asks which one will win the grandfather replies, “the one I feed.” There is great wisdom in this simple story, and you can Google it if you would like to read a longer version. I am certainly not the first person to write on the subject. However, it has come up of late and the below poem grew out of those recent discussions.

The issue at hand is the internal conflict between right and wrong, good and evil. The devotional “Jesus Calling” phrased it as follows: “There is a mighty battle going on for control of your mind. Heaven and earth intersect in your mind, and the tugs of both spheres influence your thinking.” Each of us views this struggle based upon our own world view. Some people are content with believing that we just do the best we can based upon our upbringing. Others like the image of the little angels and demons sitting on each shoulder, whispering in our ears. Some will concede to the struggle between God and Satan. A few folks are satisfied with the Jiminy Cricket personification of the human conscience. I’m personally in the God and Satan camp, with perhaps some angels and demons thrown in. However, little red devils with horns and pitch forks are merely an image contrived in Dante’s “Inferno,” so try not to get hung up on the visual. Either way, the two wolves concept pretty much covers this issue. The point is that there seems to be struggle between various influencers in our hearts and minds. Sometimes it’s a conscious struggle and at other times unconscious, but it’s definitely occurring.

Which wolf do you feed? And is it the wolf you are willing to become? That, after all, is what life is all about … becoming. At any given time we are headed in a given direction based upon our choices. The question we must ask ourselves is where are those choices leading us? To humanize the wolf-feeding metaphor consider this quote from fitness icon Jack LaLane: “Every day, and at every meal, we choose our weight.” I won’t dwell on the context of that quote because it stings a little, but its astuteness points to a profound wisdom. The culmination of our daily choices defines our future. While pondering this subject a while ago I cobbled together four words that sum it up for me: Daily Decisions Determine Destiny. And to make them easier to remember I use the term D-4. That is what our daily struggle is all about. Whether you call it the two wolves, a spiritual warfare, or the battle between good and evil, it happens every day right within our own hearts and minds.

And that battle rarely takes the shape of one life-altering decision. For most of us it takes place in a myriad of seemingly harmless choices that happen from moment to moment throughout our days. The battle isn’t a giant sequoia that comes crashing down upon us. In fact, it’s more like a tiny trickle of water that slowly erodes our character. So it would be wrong to think of life in terms of “a” decisive moment. Rather, life is an endless series of decisive moments. And what do those moments decide? In the end they determine who we are, what our life stands for, what our legacy is, and how we will be remembered.

In conclusion I return to the simplicity of the old Cherokee story. Where do all of our choices lead? Who will we become? Which wolf wins? The one we feed. We become the choices we make ... so by sure to feed the good wolf.

The Two Wolves
There are two wolves within me
One is noble, wise and kind
He always guides me towards the good
In body, heart and mind
This wolf seeks the path of honor
And desires the best for me
He respects my fellow man
And understands eternity
Alas, there is another wolf
Who also dwells within
An evil, dark and selfish wolf
Who tempts me unto sin
This second wolf is vicious
He destroys and he devours
He reminds me of my failures
And taunts me in my darkest hours
The evil wolf is cunning
Full of anger, wrath and pride
Striving ever with the better wolf
With whom he dwells inside
And which will be victorious?
It remains yet to be seen
The noble wolf is powerful
But the evil wolf is mean
The choice is really up to me
Which wolf wins and which concedes
For, in the end, the wolf who reigns
Is the one I choose to feed
               By Frank Carpenter ©

The Story

I was speaking with a friend recently who had an interesting family background. Her father had been a professional Jai Alai athlete in Cuba in the heady days before the revolution. This had given him cause to rub elbows with the famous American actors and writers who frequented Havana back then. Later, after everything changed, her parents immigrated to the United States with only the clothes on their backs. To her credit, my friend’s mother meticulously recorded many of the interesting stories related to that particular heritage. This conversation got me thinking about the stories from my own family history, and how each of us has a story of his or her own. Those stories are important because they are such an integral part of who we are. That’s why we need to ask our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and others to tell us about their lives, because those lives make up the foundation of who we are. Then we need to tell those old stories, as well as our own, to our children, grandchildren and nieces and nephews. In this we can connect the past to the present and, hopefully discover some wisdom for the future.

This line of thinking leads me to several observations. First of all, we are each an important link in the ongoing chain of our family’s history. If I don’t pass on the history to the next generation I may be robbing them of it entirely. Remember that the past is a gift we can give to those we love which they can cherish in the future. Maybe you don’t have a recorded past, or a pleasant one. Maybe you were orphaned or estranged. What’s done is done, but you can still start the story as a gift to those who come after you, and break that cycle. In this case you have the unique opportunity to give them what you were denied. Even if no one seems to care now, someday it will be too late for our kids to ask about the past, so it’s our responsibility to tell them anyway … or at least write it down.

Secondly, once we’re gone all that’s left is our story. How we live is another gift we give to our children. This is one of the most important things we have to leave them. Listen, you don’t have to be president, or fly jets or leave them a million dollars. If you can’t leave anything but the memory of a happy and loving life you will have done a great thing. The quality of a man’s life isn’t measured in money or power or social status. In the end what will matter is meaningful relationships and changed lives. Those are the only things that can outlive us in this world

I must also insert here that I believe there is a heaven and a better life beyond this brief and temporal one. If that’s true then this life is merely a dress rehearsal so I want my story to point the way to what I believe in. Therefore, I’m taking a hard look at my story to be sure that it’s the one I want to live with for eternity. Maybe you should too. If you have any questions regarding this, please feel free to email me.

As a final illustration on this subject I offer the below poem. I had the rare opportunity to travel with my father, late in his life, back to Minnesota for a couple of high school reunions. As we drove around and he reminisced I sat in the back seat scribbling copious notes about his life. I saw it as a rare opportunity to learn things about my dad that would otherwise never come up. Some of those notes grew into this poem, which I now have the pleasure of sharing with the rest of our family. By doing so I created an extra chapter in our family’s life that otherwise no one would ever know or remember. Now I know that you probably don’t care about my father’s childhood. However, I thought this might be a good example of the facts and stories that you might want to extract from your own relatives … or share with your children.

The point here is that each of us has a story … a story to live, a story to tell, a story to remember, and a story to pass on. What’s your story, and who should know it? And, perhaps more importantly, is your own story the story you want? No matter who you are, what you’ve done or how old you are, there’s still time to change your story. There is still time to give your spouse, your children, and your grandchildren the story you’d like them to cherish for the rest of their lives. I’m hoping and praying that your story will have a happy ending. And I know it still can.

Lake City Days
Oh, sweet memories of my youth
Where the Mississippi, broad and slow
Becomes Lake Peppin for a time
In the quiet valley I used to know
Lake City was my childhood home
Well named and nestled upon the shore
Of Peppin, where my family lived
Good people, solid, happy, poor
I remember the house on North Oak Street
Where water and power, we had none
Jumping rope and climbing the lilac tree
The sound of the trains and boyhood fun
Our neighbor kept bee hives out in back
And rhubarb grew around the yard
The hand pump sink and the big iron stove
Life was good, but times were hard
The back room where mother, when I was sick
Would cradle my fevered head
All through the night upon her lap
I slept there instead of my bed
And also the house on High Street North
Near the corner of Madison
Where more of my childhood days were spent
Snows of winter and summer sun
I remember the green of McCahill field
Where we tasted success and defeat
And the game in that blizzard of '39
By the end snow was nearly two feet
We went to the westerns and serial shows
At the old corner theater
Where heroes of youth were larger than life
And their images still endure
I remember the services at St. John's
Most in German, as I recall
And even at home we spoke German a lot
I knew it well when I was small
Doc Bailey's office and Lundgren's store
The gazebo down town in the park
Near the court house where dances were held
When the evenings of summer grew dark
And I'll never forget my crush on Joanne
For her, I carried my very first torch
It seems silly now, but back then it was not
I left a May basket on her porch
My dad was coach of the football team
And a teacher at Lincoln High
I shared a room with my brother, Don
Chuck Ericson lived near by
We used to swim in the gravel pit
And pull weeds at the nursery
Summer days we fished down at the lake
Where, in winter, we played hockey
It seems like just yesterday somehow
Though, in fact, it was long ago
But I can still feel the Minnesota heat
And envision the drifting snow
I hold these memories and cherish them all
From my Lake City childhood
Life was simpler then and I have no regrets
Times were hard, but life was good
By Frank Carpenter ©

A Husband's Prayer

When I look around lately there seem to be a lot of relationships in trouble, or at least struggling. Couples often don’t see eye to eye, or they have reached a stage of passive-aggressive détente. The thing is that if life can be so much better than that, why should we settle for it? Let’s be clear, I’m not advocating divorce. Rather, I’m advocating that we roll up our sleeves and make things work for the better. John Lenin penned the famous lyrics, “All you need is love.” Well that’s theoretically true, but it doesn’t make much allowance for human nature. In fact, relationships do need much more than love. Love is great. Love is amazing. I’m the hugest fan of love ever. However, we live in a world that has been duped by Hollywood, popular music, and even literature. Folks think that if they have love they’ve got it made and the “happily ever after” is nothing less than a foregone conclusion. Then they can’t figure out why they’re unhappy four years later and they want to move out because their spouse squeezes the toothpaste wrong or clicks the cereal bowl too loudly with their spoon. The issue at the heart of this is that we need to redefine love.

At the root of it all, we have a problem with semantics. Too many people believe that love is a noun. They think of it as a romantic ideal, and if you’re lucky enough to have it then you’ve got the ticket for violins and sunsets. That sounds great, but it’s entirely too shallow for long-term effectiveness. The concept that you can just have “it” and that’s all you’ll need doesn’t fly. For if we follow such a line of reasoning, then what do you do when “it” goes away? Are we then off the hook because the relationship no longer has any basis? Love, as a feeling, comes and goes in far too fickle a manner to be depended solely upon. But love, real love, is not a noun at all. It’s a verb, perhaps the best verb of all. Real love is action. We don’t merely have it, we do it. So if we truly love then it will be active … actually, make that proactive.

That being said, I will turn my thoughts towards today’s intended audience. I want to talk to you men, not because I find any particular fault with you, but because you’re my demographic and the group I feel called to speak to today. Men, we need to step up and take the fact that love is a verb to heart. I encourage you to become a student of your wife and learn what makes her happy. Then take a proactive approach to loving her. And here’s the thing: If we work to make our wives happy, and love them unconditionally, then they will generally respond in kind. Love and marriage aren’t fifty-fifty arrangements. Relationship is about giving one hundred percent. So I’m calling on you men to do your part, unilaterally if necessary. It’s up to us to take the lead and set the tone for our shared happiness. Make sure that love, your love specifically, is a verb. That’s the path to the better kind of adjectives, after all.

Now today’s offering has been aimed all along at a prayer, as I fully disclosed in the title. Here’s the thing. I’m a Christian and I believe that God is the author of real love, and that’s why I offer the following prayer for husbands. If you disagree with me, you can drop the last stanza and you’re still in business, but you may miss out on what I personally consider the foundation of my own thirty years of extremely happy and successful marriage. Either way, let’s make sure that we keep our love alive by practicing it every day. To that end, I offer you the following manly marriage metaphor. Love is like a shark. It has to keep swimming or it sinks to the bottom and drowns. So I’m counting on you, guys, to keep your love swimming. A good start will be to pray the following prayer. You might even want to print it out, tack it up, and read it over once in a while. If your wife saw this little prayer in your wallet or taped to the bathroom mirror it would warm her heart to brimming. If you actually prayed it and took it to heart, you might just end up in the hall of fame of awesome husbands. And every guy wants to be in the hall of fame. So remember … it’s a verb.

With All My Heart
(A Husband's Prayer)
With all my heart, with all my mind
May I be faithful, gentle and kind
May I be watchful and creative
Ever wary of the needs
Of the one whom I adore
May I be willing to concede
Willing, also, to forgive
And more important, to forget
Slow to anger, quick to listen
Never speaking curse nor threat
May I be conscious of my duty
To her dignity and pride
Responsive to the subtle hints
Which reveal the heart inside
May I be mindful of how fragile
Close relationships can be
Placing her above my selfish needs
At each opportunity
Lord, rekindle in me daily
The love I have for her
So my thoughts and deeds and motives
And devotion remain pure
May I be the kind of husband
That my wife needs me to be
Loving her with all my heart
And bringing glory, Lord, to Thee
By Frank Carpenter ©