Finishing Well

There is a tendency among people, especially men, to grow sour in their later years. We’ve all seen it, experienced it. This tendency comes on slowly, almost imperceptivity, then one day we suddenly notice how patience wears thin, criticism loses it constructiveness, and humor begins to bite more. The years should make us better, wiser, and more patient and more appreciative. Time should soften and improve us like a fine wine. In many cases the years do have this effect. Yet far too often we come across those who become embittered and emotionally burdensome, just when they have the experience and leisure to be the greatest blessing. And that’s what it’s all about, really. We want to love people and be loved by them. We want to leave a positive legacy for our families. Why then do so many squander the opportunity to set up as the mature fount of wisdom, the experienced confidant, and the spiritual mentor? It’s difficult to understand, because I would think that one of the loftiest goals in life should be to finish well. By this I don’t mean dying well, but living well.


Finishing well is the ultimate confirmation of a life well-lived, the litmus test of all we have professed during the previous decades. I must here clarify that I’m not speaking about money. Although these principles definitely apply thereto, finishing well financially is always subordinate in importance to the other areas of life … especially if significant sacrifices were made in order to attain a strong financial finish. In the end the comfort and security that wealth at least promises is but chaff in comparison to relational and character considerations. To me, finishing well is all about relationships: with friends, with family, with our community, and with God. Maintaining healthy relationships in each of those spheres is an indication that we understand what is truly important in life and we have sought to cultivate it. Sadly, many folks don’t think about this and turn slowly inward as their years progress, becoming ever more selfish and myopic. In time they become the aunts and uncles, parents, grandparents and friends who complain that no one ever comes to visit them. Even some people who were gregarious and generous with themselves in middle age far too often grow otherwise later on.

However, this does not have to be so. We can make choices all through our lives to keep from growing sour so that our later years can still be the most meaningful years of our lives, not only for us but also for those we care about. Even at fifty, I’ve been engaging my own friends and family members on this subject for a number of years. My plan is that if we are discussing our desire not to grow sour then we can hold one another accountable. I’m not going to wait for the people I care about to stop calling and visiting me. In fact, I’m going on the offensive because I want to be the son, father, grandpa, uncle, neighbor, and friend that I hope others will be to me. So I call, I write, I text and Facebook. I try to be proactive in every sphere of my relationships so that I’m fully engaged with people, and I encourage them to do the same. And, as I’ve written previously, I work hard to be a blessing to others, which also turns out to be the path to receiving the blessing of relationship from them. The fact is that we generally get out of life only what we put into it. This becomes even more important in our later years when we’re easier to forget or overlook. But if we make ourselves relationally indispensible then we aren’t likely to be alone. A big part of finishing well is about continuing to sow the seeds of love and joy throughout our lives, which often yields a rich harvest of happiness.

Please excuse me, but I can’t close this discussion without some mention of faith. For this is another area where I have observed people growing sour and losing heart later in live. Faith is such an important part of our existence, perhaps even the reason for our existence, that it can never be overlooked when we are reviewing the big picture of our lives. A relationship with God is much like our other relationships. It requires effort and maintenance, with a proactive approach and continued involvement in related activities. Old age isn’t a time to set the spiritual auto pilot, but a season to build upon a lifetime of faith and share our wisdom with others. It’s important that the spiritual matriarchs and patriarchs of any group or family continue to shine the light of example throughout their lives.

So however you may have started, finishing well is perhaps the most important part of life. Wherever we are, whatever we might have done, for better or for worse. We have the option of finishing well, of finishing better. However, the way we finish isn’t a choice we make at some distant point in our existence. Rather, it’s a series of choices that add up to a life well-lived … and maintaining that momentum through the final lap. May yours be such a life so that it continues to touch the lives of countless others.