What's in a Name?

A recent conversation with a friend took an unexpected turn and we ended up discussing the names we have for ourselves, and the names others have for us. I’m not referring to the actual names on our birth certificates so much as the names we collect in life that are descriptors or identifiers. Take a moment to recall what you may have been called by others in your life recently, or how you may have referred to those around you. I can identify many instances where I have labeled people in my life, some edifying, but others clearly deleterious and demeaning.

Just for sport, let’s take a look at some super heroes as overt examples of how we relate to names. First of all we have Superman, Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel. These names indicate strengths or character.
Then there others with names that describe specifics about their identity or physical attributes, like: Aqua Man, Spider Man, Iron Man, Batman, Batgirl, Ice Man, and so on. This might seem silly, but it illustrates how names identify us in a way that nearly all of us are familiar with. Might point is that the names we gather, as well as those we cast upon others, say something important about us. Now I’m going to move on, but if for some reason you find this paragraph interesting you can go to www.superheronames.net to look up your favorites or try out the Super Hero Name Generator.

It is important what we call others because labeling can have a powerful influence in people’s lives. I recently corrected a father who was jokingly calling his daughter “booger” as a silly pet name. What if such a name, even offered in jest, stuck with someone? My suggestion was to call a little girl princess, sunshine, or beautiful in order to glean any emotional benefit those names might offer. However, I am clearly a re-namer and have referred to each of my children with dozens of silly names through the years, though I’ve generally tried to keep them positive. We all seem to recall cases where parents have called their children stupid, lazy, worthless, ugly, fat, loser, and so forth, only to have those labels stick, at least emotionally, and affect those children into adulthood. Furthermore, negative labeling usually refers to our worst traits, rather than ones that it would be more fruitful to accentuate. And remember that even if we label people behind their backs those names can stick and catch up with them eventually. Even a mature adult, when confronted with such labels as those listed above, can start to take them to heart. Those are the kind of seemingly small things in life that tend to erode our self esteem over time, and even cause us to make choices that confirm, or conform to, negative labeling by others. It’s not even necessary to use a specific derogatory label to affect people adversely. Thoughtless offhanded comments about hair, clothing, physique, test scores, cars, money, intelligence, and so on tend to label, especially if the recipient is already sensitive regarding something about themselves that they perceive as a shortcoming. On the other hand, we have ample opportunity every day to sow seeds of encouragement with positive labeling and complimentary language. That’s the simplest way to enrich the lives of others, and make the world a better place for everyone. I have a favorite bible verse that I’ve memorized and even have referenced on the screen of my cell phone to remind me how to treat others. “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is suitable for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it might bring grace to those who hear.” ~ Ephesians 4:29. Those are great words to live by … and everyone in your life will appreciate them as well.

I also want to touch briefly on what we call ourselves. Our own perceived persona is critical to how we approach life, and all the people in it. If we think of ourselves in a negative light it has a measurable impact on our lives. People who think they are either winners or losers often prove themselves right by living up to, or down to, their own expectations. Do you think of yourself as: witty, fun, deep, smart, kind, energetic, happy, outgoing, successful, etc.? Or do you think of yourself as: dumb, boring, shy, silly, small, poor, hopeless, etc.? These are important questions because they direct our daily intercourse with others, and may even affect our destiny. Now it’s not quite as simple as saying you are what you think. There’s a lot of effort required in life as well. However, you may well become who you think you are over time. Our perceived identity certainly aims our actions and reactions. For example, if you expect very little of yourself you probably won’t be disappointed. Now we do all have certain bents, various physical attributes, and personality types. That’s what makes us … well, us. But some of us are carrying baggage, heaped upon us by our upbringing, past relationships, addictions, or unhealthy behavior. We live with names others have given us instead of looking to the best of ourselves for our identity. What do you call yourself? What would you like to call yourself? Start living towards that new name.

I would also like to call your attention to someone important who seems to change names. God. Historically, God change names as He has interacted with his people though in the bible. These name changes generally reflected His interruption of their previous lives for something better. Here are few examples: When God called Abram He renamed him to Abraham. Likewise, God renamed Abraham’s wife Sarai to Sarah. He renames Jacob to Israel. In the New Testament God renamed Simon to Peter (the Rock), and Saul to Paul. There are also biblical instances where God assigns someone an identity rather than an actual name change. An example would be when He called Gideon mighty warrior, even though Gideon had previously been living with an inferiority complex. But Gideon became a might warrior. The point is that God may have a different name for you than the rather ordinary one you have been living with. God takes the broken, the lonely, and the weary and gives them names of hope and victory. There is an obscure song about this that I really enjoy which goes like this: “I will change your name, you shall no long be called wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid. I will change your name, your new name shall be, confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one, faithfulness, friend of God, one who seeks my face.” So if you’re not happy with the label you’ve hung upon yourself, or perhaps the ones others have thoughtlessly placed upon you, start with some prayer and the bible and see if maybe God has a better name reserved for you. I’d be more than happy to discuss this further with anyone who is interested as well. You just never know.

Now I’ve bounced around a bit today, from child psychology to super heroes to Old Testament patriarchs and I realize that might be a little too much ground to cover for some people. However, I wanted to take a very broad look at this subject. Returning to the title question, what’s in a name? I would say a great deal, so I encourage you to take a closer look how you refer, or infer, to both others and yourself. Refuse to live with, or dispense to others, a label with negative connotations. Who are you, really?