Let it Begin With Me

Today, I thought we'd take a little hike down the relationship trail. The fact is that each of us is in relationships of various kinds and, being imperfect people, we are going to have occasional troubles in those relationships. I am of the opinion that most of those problems stem from pride and selfishness on the part of one or both parties involved. We draw lines in the sand, we back ourselves into corners like wounded animals, we embark on a war of silence. Invariably, both parties often reach a point where they both whisper under their breath, "I'll be dammed if I'm giving in first." That is the beginning of a whole host of troubles. However, no individual person can really change another. We can neither ask nor expect someone else to be different. To hope and plan otherwise is merely to set ourselves up for disappointment. What I have learned, though, is that while it's difficult to change other people, they tend to respond to changes I am willing to make to myself. Someone has to give in and take the first step in solving problems. That is not a concession of defeat, it takes far more courage to take that first step than to stand your ground. If we really care about someone, if we truly want to do the right thing, it always boils down to one important realization, "Let it begin with me." That is where love and honor begin, with our own hearts and our own pride. An emotional standoff only grows worse with time ... and it only gets better when someone cares enough to make it so.

Begin With Me
Whatever fills the air between us
Certainly can't be called speech
A deafening silence chokes us both
And presses our hearts out of reach
How did we get here? I'm not quite sure
And what are we going to do?
I'll be dammed if I'll give in first
I can stand it as long as you
I really can't stand it ... nor should you
This is not how love ought to be
However it started, whoever's at fault
Clearly, change must begin with me
It matters little what has transpired
Which brought us to where we are now
But someone has to take the first step
Someone has to start trying somehow
Lord, give me the strength to be the one
And take the responsibility
There is no such thing as silent love
Lord, let it begin with me
By Frank Carpenter ©