For the Living

When the difficult things happen in life, they often seem to come in waves. When it rains, it pours, so to speak. As I have mentioned previously, recent months have brought a season of losses and memorial services to my life. Those can be extremely somber times, and they are also terribly inconvenient. Not that I begrudge them, but the preparations and travel tend to really shake up your life from a scheduling standpoint as well. Many folks think it’s just too much trouble to participate. Some have old issues with friends or relatives that they wish to avoid dredging up. Other just don’t care enough to go to any trouble. I, however, relish those opportunities to say a proper farewell and catch up with distant relations. Those are the gatherings where you reminisce over old family stories, share photos, try to relearn the names of all the second cousins, etc. I go out of respect for the deceased, yet I also go for the living. All those little details experienced and discussed at such an event are a part of our heritage, and some are lost forever after that day because their memory departs with the loved one lost. There will come a time in a month, or six months, or a year when you will be trying to decide whether you want to miss work, travel, wear a suit, make small talk with near strangers, and all of the other inconveniences associated with a funeral or memorial service. When that times comes, remember that while it may be a burden, it’s also an opportunity. Don’t miss it!

For the Living
Why go traipsing across the country
Abandon my job, and my family
For the sake of someone who’s already dead
To be with people I rarely see
Why, indeed, I ask myself
In a somber soliloquy
Not for the dead, I go for the living
And I also go for me
I go to support my loved ones
Whose loss may seem too much to bear
With hopes I may offer some comfort
Or encouragement while I am there
I go to be with the family
Arriving by plane and car
Often my family and friends as well
All gathered from near and far
Which makes it a kind of reunion
Where we all mourn one who is lost
Yet, we also reminisce on happier times
Which is well worth the trouble and cost
I go to visit the cousins
The aunts and uncles I barely know
As that’s when they gather together
And where the family is, I shall go
I go to learn about myself
Who I am, and my history
Knowing that even in times of loss
I may discover something of me
I go because it’s the right thing to do
Because family are people who care
And one of the ways they show their love
Is simply by being there
And I go because when I am gone
And they gather in eulogy
I want people to say, “he was there for us ...
And he’s worth the trip to me.”
By Frank Carpenter ©