A Monkey's Uncle

Back in the news once more is the old creation versus evolution conflict. Last week President Bush stepped feet first into the debate between Darwinian evolution and “intelligent design,” saying both should be given equal standing in the nation’s science classrooms. Intelligent design is the theory that the development of the natural world has been influenced by a higher being of some sort. This same week, the History Channel began airing “Ape to Man,” a documentary which explores the history of evolutionary theory and those who have sought to prove it. Finally, this morning USA Today ran an article entitled “Intelligent Design Smacks of Creationism by Another Name,” which basically says, like so many other media sources, that evolution is scientific fact and creation is merely religious fiction. In short, neither is a theory. I am certainly no expert in this area, but I would like to make a few comments thereto.

In all fairness I shall begin with full disclosure, admitting up front that I am a supposedly narrow-minded fundamentalist Christian who believes that there is a God. And if there is a God, then He may very likely be able to do all manner of miraculous things … up to and possibly including creation. That being said, lets take a quick look at evolution and a few of it’s unanswered questions. First of all, there are two types of evolution. The first is microevolution, the theory that species make modest adaptations over time in response to environment. The great example, of course, would be someplace like the Galapagos Islands, where isolated animal populations have changed slightly over time. An animal with a sharper beak or the ability to run faster may have a greater survival rate and, therefore, live to pass those traits on. Thusly, desert animals, mountain animals and island animals, etc. may vary somewhat due to their varied environments. That seems to make perfect sense. The problem arises when we begin to consider macroevolution, in which species change entirely over time and new species come into being. Sure, there may be enough fossil evidence to argue that perspective convincingly. What is even more difficult to swallow, however, is how something can come from nothing. In other words, how did we make the jump from no life at all to the complex biological systems we call life? This is where evolution begins to fall apart. Even the dinosaurs had hearts and lungs and brains and stomachs and legs and eyes and ears and the whole host of standard equipment issued to carbon based life forms as we know them. All those systems could not develop by natural selection. A heart without a lung or a lung without a heart, and either without blood or a brain fails instantly. Evolution doesn’t answer that question, dealing only with the chicken and assuming somehow the egg just magically appeared. Come to think of it, there would have to be two chickens ... preceded by at least two eggs, in order for life to be sustained. No offense, but that takes more faith than my creation theory. So modern scientific theory goes something like this:
1. First, there was nothing
2. Then, it exploded
3. Somehow, we got the earth … with water and an atmosphere
4. Then rocks came to life, presumably as a single cell
5. That single cell found a way to eat, breathe and reproduce (on the 1st try)
6. Then there were giant lizards
7. They grew hair and opposable thumbs
8. And became us
Now I’ve left out some details, but either way there are a lot of unexplainable gaps in this evolutionary time line. The universe had to start or become somehow. Life had to originate, in some form, from inanimate matter. That life had to develop into complicated biological systems in order to survive, many of which are interdependent and essential for survival in the first place. Then, even assuming that all of the above could miraculously happen, (and it sure sounds miraculous to me) there are still several gigantic leaps towards life becoming us. The whole situation screams intelligent design to me and I think it takes more faith to trust entirely in evolutionary science for answers to the gaps in scientific theory. Complicated systems tend to atrophy rather than specialize unless energy or guidance is applied from outside those systems. That’s what the 2nd law of thermodynamics is all about. How, then, have things become less random and more ordered over time? Food for thought.

I need to make one final comment. Why is it that the narrow-minded people just want creation or intelligent design taught as an opposing theory along with evolution, while the supposedly open-minded people reject all other theories and want it to be illegal and unconstitutional to teach anything but evolution theory? I find that to be highly hypocritical. Perhaps the underlying issue is that if creation is an option then God is an option … and some folks just don’t want a God meddling in their intellectual universe. For if there is a God, especially a creating and influencing God, then man cannot be God. In the end, perhaps it is merely a matter of pride.
If you have wrestled with someone on this issue, perhaps the following poem would serve as a light hearted ice breaker to reopen the subject. It's also great for sharing with high school biology teachers. Anyway, I respectfully submit the following, which I hope may entertain as well as educate.

A Monkey's Uncle
When it comes to evolution
I'm never sure what I should think
Am I made in the image of the Lord
Or am I a missing link
Is my form, somehow, transitional
From chimps to something grand
Am I a monkey's uncle or
The work of my Creator's hand
Am I here at the top of the food chain
Because a God has willed it so
Or just by natural selection
How's a primate supposed to know
If his species is an accident
That cell mutation caused
Is there meaning, is there purpose
Or are there only Darwin's laws
Am I superior to all the other
Beasts, both deaf and dumb
Or just a talking ape who lucked out
When he grew opposing thumbs
Hey, since I'm the only animal
Who can think the thoughts I do
I'd like to think that there's a God
Who designed both me and you
That we're not just descended
From some egg or worm or spore
That crawled out of a murky ocean
On some ancient, slimy shore
I really hate to be the one
Who chops down the family tree
But someone's always trying
To make a monkey out of me
By Frank Carpenter ©