The Unforgiving Minute

Life is an endless series of moments, of minutes if you will, and many of them come with choices to make. They will consist primarily of small, seemingly insignificant choices, but some will turn out to be life changing ... even life defining. The secret, therefore, to living a life of honor, value and significance lies in the management of those choices. For every choice counts, and moves us in a particular direction, determining our overall trajectory. I love the end of Rudyard Kipling’s classic poem “If” which concludes with the words:

“If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run
Yours is the world and everything that’s in it
And, what is more, you’ll be a man, my son”

That “unforgiving minute” can take many forms, but as the sands of the hour glass slip through our fingers we must make decisions which will betray our true selves and shape our destiny. Regardless what we have said about ourselves or our beliefs, those choices we make moment to moment shall tell the story of our lives. Like gentle adjustments in the wheel of a ship, they direct our course and even seemingly minor corrections can make the difference between a safe passage and a disaster. There are potentially bad choices which we can back away from or easily correct, yet some will come along which must be borne for a lifetime. So let us choose carefully, lest the unforgiving minute should catch us unawares. Indeed, let us seize each moment, each minute, and make it count.

The Unforgiving Minute
It matters little what folks think
Or how we compare with the rest
In the end, a man must prove himself
When it comes his time to test
For there are moments in each life
When words are simply not enough
When the mettle of a man is tried
And life will call his bluff
Then he finds himself come face to face
And standing all alone
Before the things he fears the most
And his true character is shown
When all his days and months and years
Shall finally culminate
In the unforgiving minute
Which is dealt each man by fate
That moment when he proves himself
To be either false or true
To that which he has long professed
And stood for hitherto
That single unforgiving minute when
His whole lifetime comes to bear
Showing him, at last, triumphant
Or pitching him into despair
Is the moment each man dreams of
And the moment each man fears
The sudden, unforgiving minute
Which defines him all his years
By Frank Carpenter ©

Song of the Siren

Last night, I attended a meeting of Christian artists and one of the discussion topics was the power of media to influence people. Now influence can be a good thing, but it also has a dark side. My medium is primarily the written word, which gets a distribution boost in this day and age from the internet. However, there are other mediums which reach us on a more subconscious level, allowing them to influence in an entirely different way. I was reminded of a previous study on that topic, specifically regarding music, and the poem which grew out of the process. To that end, I offer the following thoughts for your consideration.

Today, a few words about music. I love music, as most people do. However, it can be a dangerous thing because it is such a powerful medium. My own tastes therein are relatively eclectic and I try to keep an open mind, even about those forms of music which I generally don’t care for. As a poet, I also have an affinity for the lyrics of songs and that, perhaps, is the reason why I might pay more attention to what the words actually say. Those lyrics, even in popular and favorite songs, often contain messages which we would openly reject if they were mailed to us in a letter or printed in the newspaper. Countless popular songs, the words of which we usually know by heart, are far from uplifting. Themes that we would never dream of chanting over and over again, we willingly sing along to, over and over again, with no thought as to their content. You may call me paranoid. You may think that words like “brainwashing” are far too strong to apply. I just happen to subscribe to the wisdom of an old computer programming term: GIGO, which stands for “garbage in, garbage out.” In Psalm 1, God exhorts us to meditate on His law day and night. Likewise King David, the man after God’s own heart, closed Psalm 19 with the words, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Perhaps we should be more careful what we are willing to have whispered into our hearts and minds on a repetitive basis. Just as the quality and quantity of food we consume has a measurable impact on our bodies, I propose that the quality and quantity of music we ingest has much the same effect on our hearts and minds. In the end a man becomes his music because those lyrics become the meditations of his heart. The best way to guard our hearts and minds, and therefore direct our lives, is to arm ourselves with pure and noble thoughts. Let us, therefore, carefully consider the content of our music because that music, through repetition, whispers deep into our souls and may have a part in shaping our character.

Song of the Siren
Music soothes the savage beast, or so I've often heard
But the man is wise who takes the time to evaluate each word
For often beat and rhythm, masquerading as our friends
Cover up the true agenda of the music and its ends
How easily the strong are lulled by the siren and her song
Who beckons unsuspecting souls to give in and come along
Unaware of her intentions and, in fact, quite unconcerned
But a man who cannot smell the smoke so easily gets burned
Indeed, there is a deeper issue for the one who would be pure
When he begins to hum along with songs he never should endure
But the barriers are broken down by the pleasant melody
So he accepts what should offend him because he somehow fails to see
The broader picture which surrounds him and his role within the plot
He sees the cheese, but not the trap and, unsuspecting, so is caught
Yet, sadly, even then the victim quickly loses sight
For he has built up a resistance to the message and his plight
We take the little things so lightly, yet life is naught but little things
The sum of which makes up the whole and whatever that may bring
Music stirs the soul to worship, but also stirs the heart to sin
The end result will be the product of the ingredients put in
If this is true, then I propose we measure carefully
The contents of our music, its purpose and its quality
We read the labels on the cereal box and at the grocery store
Because we care about our bodies, don't our hearts deserve much more?
Music soothes the savage beast, if that's what we've become
But the injection can be lethal once the local makes us numb
A song can be the sweetest thing, lifting up our minds and hearts
Or it can drown the voice of God, and tear our souls apart
By Frank Carpenter ©

Valentines Day

Yes, it’s Valentines Day once again. Perhaps it seems a silly tradition to some, but this is the day when we are supposed to reaffirm our love to those we care most about. Of course, I’m all about silly traditions so I offer up the following poem in honor of my own dear sweetheart, who has been brave enough to share the last quarter of a century with me. Now for all of you who may be searching for some way to express your own feelings, I welcome you to use my poem if it captures the way you feel about your loved one. If you’re wise, you’ll throw in some other trinket or card which suits the holiday. But something, anything, is better than nothing. Even at 9:00 tonight it won’t be too late to write a little note or grab a flower or plant at the grocery store, or at least make a clumsy last-minute speech. Come on, you can do it. Silly tradition? Maybe. However, once in a while just about everyone needs to know that they are still wanted. Let them know … and you’ll be glad you did.

Again and Again
If I could start over back where I began
And make all my choices anew
I know there are many things I might change
But, choosing again, I'd choose you
If I could retrace the path of my life
Rethinking the things I could do
I might choose a host of new options to try
But still I would try them with you
If I could avoid the mistakes I had made
And the difficult things I went through
Whatever I'd face on a second go around
I would still choose to face it with you
If I could turn back the hands of the clock
To a time I had long bid adieu
The goal of my living that time once again
Would be spending more of it with you
But rather than somehow reliving again
All the years which have now slipped away
I would choose to remember them just as they are
With the memories we share today
No, I wouldn't start over, I would not go back
I have no reason to start anew
When my choice for the future remains so clear
Again and again, I choose you
Frank Carpenter ©

The Islamic Cartoon Crisis

The world is in an uproar this week over a series of cartoons published back in September. I had not intended to comment on this issue, but the daily flow of news on the subject finally wore down my resistance. I am writing, of course, of twelve cartoons depicting stereotypical images of the prophet Muhammad which were originally published in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten. The best known of these caricatures is an image of the prophet wearing a turban shaped like a bomb, and all of them seek to mock the supposedly violent nature of Islam. Interestingly enough, the newspaper first came up with the idea of such cartoons after several incidents of self-censorship involving people who feared Muslim reprisals. Even though these images originally appeared back in September, all hell seems to have broken loose after they were reprinted last month by a Norwegian paper, causing others to follow suit. Technically, Islam forbids the production of any images or illustrations of Muhammad for fear they could lead to idolatry. Now, I actually respect the basis of their belief. In fact, Muhammad borrowed the “graven image” concept from the Hebrew Old Testament and the Ten Commandments, which predated Islam by some two thousand years. (around 1496 BC) The more serious discussion of idolatry comes from the Christian writers of the first century AD, still more than five hundred years prior to Muhammad. And, while Islam has held this belief regarding the image of their beloved prophet, this is the first that most of the west has heard of it. However, there is something larger going on here and three important issues need to be addressed.

First of all, whether or not these images are offensive, the whole reason for their having been published in the first place was as a commentary on the violent nature of at least some factions of Islam. Islamic organizations in the west, and occasionally elsewhere, are constantly up in arms over this subject. They proclaim that Islam is a religion of peace and love and that a few isolated radical groups are giving them a bad name. That’s an extremely difficult argument to make from a historical standpoint. Can a person really say that Islam is peaceful and just gets a bad reputation from: riots, assassinations, decades of terror attacks on five different continents, malicious and public threats by the president of Iran, the ruling party in Gaza, the previous Iraqi regime, the current Iraqi resistance, Hezbollah, the Taliban, the burning of embassies, the bombing of embassies, the text of the Koran, the charter of Hamas, suicide bombers, rioting youths in England, decapitating kidnappers, airline hijackers, flag burners, and Al Qaeda? Can it really be argued that the world misunderstands Islam all because of a few million bad apples in Great Briton, Spain, France, Denmark, Germany, Italy, Indonesia, America, Greece, Argentina, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iran, Iraq, Jordan, Lebanon, Israel, Pakistan, Egypt, Gaza, the West Bank, Yemen, Somalia, Afghanistan, Chechnya, Libya and the Sudan? This is just a sampling of supposed bad apples and activities based upon a very few minutes of research. Sadly, it appears that the west thinks of Islam as violent because that has been the bulk of our exposure. Having believers thereof rioting, attacking embassies, burning flags, murdering, and otherwise running amuck over a cartoon, only serves to support the violent stereotype. Thus, however religiously offensive it may be to Muslims, such depictions of Muhammad may not be entirely off base in a free and somewhat cynical western press. When I went online and Googled this subject in an attempt to view the vaunted cartoons I found only one of them, but accidentally stumbled upon dozens of images of angry Muslims burning and destroying things over the issue. I’m sorry, but it the bomb-shaped turban fits, wear it.

Second, international freedom of speech and censorship issues have been brought to the forefront by this issue. Does Islam have the right to dictate what the western press is allowed to print? That is a huge question. Historically, political cartoons, just like every other form of editorial expression have freely bashed every world religion, ethnic group, political party and pet cause imaginable. (Including my own father, from time to time.) That is the right of the press. If one group demands and receives some special treatment then all groups deserve such accommodation, and suddenly there will be nothing left which we are allowed to discuss anymore. Therefore, there must be no sacred cows. That’s what a free press is all about. Now, at this particular moment it might be considered insensitive or inflammatory to print these particular cartoons, but that is a choice that every editor should be free to make. We don’t have any say over the press in other countries or the programming on Al Jazeera and we shouldn’t. We don’t even want to. But we will not, we cannot tolerate censorship by any group, religious or otherwise. If the governments and press of the free world buckle on this issue, tomorrow it will be someone else with another axe to grind. If the proponents of a supposedly peaceful, cooperative and politically integrated Islam want equal rights and fair treatment by the western press then they have to play by our rules … and that means they are subject to political cartoons and editorial scrutiny. Welcome to the real world, boys and girls. We will not be censored.

Third, activist Muslims worldwide are using violence to protest caricatures of Muhammad depicting that very nature. Essentially, they are using violence in an attempt to bend the will and actions of the civilized world. Excuse me, but that’s terrorism. When one group employs violent acts in order affect social or political policy it’s just plain old terrorism. One sector of Islam is claiming to be peaceful and asking the press to respect their political beliefs, but other outspoken Muslims are threatening more violence if we don’t bend to their will. If the west submits to that sort of message, it will simply be sending another message to all other would-be terrorists that violence works. If you want to be respected, to be listened to, to be accommodated, then come to the table … don’t burn it. All civilized governments must deal with this kind of behavior, with these kinds of threats, in the strongest possible way so disgruntled people come to understand that nothing can be accomplished with violence. If we don’t meet violence head on it will become an incurable socio-political cancer that our children and grandchildren must inherit and live with. We must not bow to riots, threats and violent activism. That is terrorism and we shall not stand for it.

In conclusion, there seems to be no easy answer to this current conundrum. The western press is not likely to back down. Western governments have no right to squelch freedom of expression in their respective countries. Muslims are unlikely to become satisfied with the situation, and there are certainly some Islamic factions and nations who are committed to using this religious outcry to their political advantage. What I do know is that this is merely the latest skirmish in a clash of ideologies which has been raging for years and isn’t likely to diminish anytime soon. However, freedom of speech, like other liberties enjoyed by the free world, must remain cherished and protected. I have the freedom to write these words and you have the freedom to read them, or not. May we never stand for anything less.

The Gift

Back on November 15th I posted an entry entitled Tokens of Affection, which related to young people and how important it is for them to remain frugal with their physical affections in relationships. I had a very warm response on that issue from my fellow parents so it seemed appropriate to expand on the theme. The next step, of course, is a forthright discussion on abstinence, upon which I will here endeavor to embark. My primary text on this subject is an additional poem entitled The Gift, which explores the value of saving the gift of sexual purity for a certain and final marital partner, and how difficult that journey can be. As a necessary disclaimer, even though I often write to and/or for my own grown children, I wrote this particular poem over twelve years ago so it must be noted that neither of my offspring had even entered junior high at the time.

That being said, let us begin at the beginning. Modern society clearly fails to embrace the value of abstinence. Our books, magazines, television, movies, in fact every mainstream media, promotes extra-marital sex … not only in content, but also through advertising. Thus, young people begin getting brainwashed at a very young age so that most have become desensitized to the subject by the time it turns out to be most relevant to them. The world says, “go ahead, experiment, enjoy yourself.” After all, what other message are young people hearing? Unless they are involved in a strong church youth group or have parents who are conservative, forthright and courageous in their communication, they may not receive a viable alternative argument for abstinence. Indeed, rare is the school or district willing to teach abstinence as the best alternative. Yet, when we consider the possible consequences of unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, not to mention the emotional trauma of these very real problems, how is a young person to responsibly weigh the cost and benefits of such decisions. Society’s answer is to provide condoms and abortions, both of which treat only the symptoms of the problem … and not always effectively. At the root of this debate lie deeper questions which must be asked, and answered.

When making value judgments about such sensitive issues as sex versus abstinence, society generally fails to address two very important questions: “Is it right?” and “Is it best?” The world doesn’t like those kinds of questions asked because they already know the answers. When you ask if something is right or wrong, it implies that there are certain moral absolutes which should govern human activity. First of all, there are. Second of all, I believe with all my heart that those moral absolutes are based upon biblical principles. I don’t here intend to thump my bible and quote countless verses on the subject, even though they exist, but I would be happy to engage anyone individually on this subject. The bottom line is that many folks are uncomfortable with moral absolutes, with right and wrong, because they imply sin and judgment. My eloquent response to that concept is simply “duh!” It’s easy to find people who will concede that premarital sex is ok or acceptable, but you’re hard-pressed to find those who will actually swear that it’s “right.” That’s because, in our heart of hearts, we know otherwise … we know better. Regardless of the fact that it happens, and with shocking frequency, it is still essentially wrong. I know it, and so do you.

Which brings us to the second big question: “Is it best?” Don’t think about if it is “good” or “OK” or “acceptable.” Rather, is it really best? Again, I believe God has a plan for us. He designed us to be paired up as one man and one woman for life. That’s supposed to be called marriage and when God created man He had just that complimentary relationship in mind. To choose otherwise generally involves some sort of compromise on that design. It’s easy to make sweeping statements about narrow-mindedness, constitutional rights and personal freedom, yet freedom without some sort of guiding ethical standards is an empty freedom indeed. Again, however, there are moral absolutes involved. When writing on the subject the Apostle Paul wrote, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.” Essentially, he was making the point that what is permissible may not necessarily be beneficial. That’s what I mean about choosing what is best. Waiting for marriage is what is best, and it’s what God intended for us. Any other choice simply borrows against future blessings. Isn’t faithfulness the most beautiful gift we could give to someone we truly love and want to spend the rest of our lives with. True faithfulness begins long before marriage, it begins in adolescence. Anything less is simply that: less.

One more subject remains to be covered at this juncture. I have herein preached about what is right and what is best, but I have left out one very important group of people. For there are many of us who have already compromised and made choices in this area which fell short of those I so vehemently advocate. To those who have previously swerved from the much-vaunted narrow path these words will seem as judgment and condemnation. Yet all is not lost for, while the past is beyond repair, it is forgivable and the future still belongs to you. Whoever you are, wherever you are along your journey, you can draw a line in the sand right now and choose to do the right thing, the best thing, and there is still great honor in such courageous choices. If you have already compromised your purity, or are doing so at this time, you can still take the higher road from now on and find your place in the fold of faithfulness. The beautiful thing about life is that it’s never too late to do the right thing. God meets us right where we are and a future spouse should also respect such a change of heart as well. I can ask no more, God can ask no more, than that we each give the best that we have. If you’re in this position right now, your choice is not liable to be well received by your partner, which will be evidence that you’re relationship was based upon something other than true love. Stand by your higher calling. Let your allegiance be to God, and to that future someone who will marry you and truly be your forever. The path of moral purity, even embarked upon mid-journey, has a way of healing us over time.

I think, perhaps, I have said enough for today. Let me close by stating that this gift of purity I have spoken of is not only a gift we can give to a future spouse, it is also a gift we can give to ourselves. It’s about respecting ourselves and being unwilling to erode our own character and the inherent value of our hearts and minds. It is an investment in the future which promises blessings we cannot begin to imagine. Cherish that gift in hopes that someone else, perhaps someone you have never even met, might already love you enough to do the same.

The Gift
No amount of money, nor words of eloquence
Can take back what was given in our ignorance or haste
There is no substitute for chastity or simple innocence
Commodities so easily forgotten and defaced
And for what, what noble purpose could be found for their demise
What value could be gained by what so easily is lost
In the end it serves no master but the lie of compromise
An end so often overlooked by those who pay the cost
So much wisdom lies in hindsight, though wisdom dearly bought
By those who made their choices ‘ere they understood the price
Of surrendering too hastily in battles better fought
When the only real victory is won through sacrifice
Indeed, why wait, when everyone appears to bend the rules
While denying moral absolutes were ever set in stone
When the real heroes are so often made to play the fools
And those who choose to stand their ground often do so all alone
Yet, how sweet a prize awaits the few who do not fail or bend
Who choose the way of abstinence because they deem it right
And, in so doing, hold in trust a treasure for the end
Which will return a hundredfold once they have fought the fight
For those who save the gift of love bring honor to the one
On whose behalf they sacrificed in order to invest
A thing so rare and precious that when all is said and done
Its value would compound beyond what any could have guessed
Until the treasures and the trinkets of this world seem so pale
Compared to what the faithful ones had saved in their account
Which could never rust or tarnish, nor devaluate or fail
Paying dividends whose value would defy a mere amount
Yet who can offer such a gift? Indeed, a precious few
Who looked beyond each moment to another time and place
For which they proved their faithfulness, having boldly chosen to
Long years before they found the one or knew that one’s embrace
How can we teach a generation in a world such as this
To save what they want so to spend for what they cannot see
And reserve it for a person whom they cannot know or kiss
When the straight and narrow path is so obscured by liberty
If they could only look ahead, beyond the here and now
To understand the implications of the choices made today
Then the value of their abstinence might come to light somehow
And all would see the wisdom of the straight and narrow way
And see the rich reward in store for those who prudently
Remained faithful to the one they knew that they were chosen for
Who kept themselves as pure as they would wish their mate to be
Ever mindful of the future we can so easily ignore
Indeed, the one who wisely sows the seeds of sacrifice
Will reap the happiness so earned when all is said and done
And bring to love the gift which can’t be bought for any price
As an offering of love reserved for one, and only one
To wait is but to cherish what cannot be taken back
So we must gird our hearts and minds and choose how we will live
For lust can’t wait to get, and so continues its attack
Yet, love can wait until the time is right for love to give
By Frank Carpenter ©