Over-Commitment

Today, let’s talk about one of the most important words of all. It’s not a long or very fancy word, almost embarrassingly small. However, this word wields great power. The one I am speaking about is ... "no." Not the word you were expecting, huh? The fact is that we have a problem with saying no. Yes feels so good. It’s empowering, really. They needed me, I’m the one for the job, I can do it better. Everyone is so excited when we say yes. Why not, now they don’t have to do it. The problem is that in this hectic world many of us are actually doing far too much. Worse yet, we often get sucked into so many responsibilities that the most important ones are deprived of the attention they deserve. "Wait a minute," you protest, "I can squeeze it all in!" Of course you can ... today. Yet, when the crunch times come the pointless things demand as much effort as the loftiest and we’re loath to let people down. I’m the worst at this. If we really think we can do it all, let’s ask a few questions about our daily lives: Did I exercise today? Did I read my bible? How about quality time with kids or spouses. Was there time to pray, meditate or just think? Did I read a book? Was there only time for fast food? These are the kind of questions that look beyond just getting everything done. In a perfect world the quality of our lives may be more important than the quantity. Maybe, if you’re like me, you’ve been doing too much and a poor job on everything. Far too often I waste time precious time and effort on projects of only marginal value and don’t have anything left for the two or three items which are dearest to my heart. Am I hitting a nerve here? It’s OK, that just makes you normal. Remember, you do have a choice. It’s important to work hard, to volunteer, to participate, but perhaps we should all re-evaluate our priorities occasionally and adjust our commitments. That might do most of us a world of good. Don’t wait for the melt down. Just take a deep breath and repeat after me, "No, I don’t have to do it all." Good, now that’s a start. (Some of us may have to chant that a few extra times before it begins to sink in.)

Over-commitment
(The Lament of the Volunteer)
On the outside, all is roses
"Life is great! Hey, how about you?"
It seems that you can do it all
and, somehow, you get through
The job, the kids, the house, the church
with one hand behind your back
And still you volunteer for more
someone has to take the slack
You feel almost super-human
squeezing more from each new day
So much more than anyone else
but still you find a way
Then, one day, you feel it
deep inside you hear it snap
When one too many projects
has been dumped upon your lap
You ignore the early warning signs
and stumble deeper in the trap
So sure that if you once said "no"
there would be no one to fill the gap
The headaches and the stress set in
and begin to wear you down
You start to lose it on the little things
it seems as if you'll drown
You lash out at the puppet strings
proclaiming you have had enough
Discovering, too late, they were
the very strands which held you up
As you topple to the pavement
grasping at the empty air
In hope of finding something solid
for a hand hold, it's not there
Only when you lay upon the ground
staring blankly at the sky
Do you realize you built your life
upon the premise of a lie
You thought that you could do it all
they told you so, but told you wrong
You believed because you wanted to
and, in so doing, played along
But in the wisdom, dearly bought
which only hindsight brings
You realize you spread yourself
too thin on too many things
So the those that really mattered most
never got the effort they deserved
Because you wasted time and energy
on the other things you served
So as you piece your life together
with the wisdom you have found
Remember to prioritize
and leave some pieces on the ground
Just choose the people and the causes
which mean the most to you
Then you'll have the time to do them well
and the strength to see them through
By Frank Carpenter ©