One Dream

A recent sermon on marriage caught my attention with a perspective I hadn’t considered before. The pastor was explaining how couples who start out so happy end up miserable. One point that really struck me was his idea that couples start out with one dream of happiness together. Over time, however, some people begin drift in different directions and long for different dreams. When two people don’t share the same dream they begin to think and hope and plan away from each other, in stead of towards each other. The only way to truly save such a marriage is for a couple to rediscover a single dream which they can share, that they can work towards together. That dream can take many forms. It can be geographical, financial, spiritual, sexual, parental ... probably most of the above. Once they are on that same page, they can move forward. Marriage is, in a sense, much like a three-legged race. That’s the picnic game where two people race other teams with their inside legs tied together. If they work together, if they run as a team, then they can reach the finish line and win. However, if they fight one another and can’t get into step, then they end up on the ground and someone is even likely to get hurt. That’s how love works. It’s about two unique individuals who work together, who’s thoughts and actions compliment one another. Essentially, they share the same dream. Maybe that’s where you are right now and your dreams seem to have diverged somewhere along the way. Perhaps you’ve begun to look at other people, or their lives, and wonder, "Hey, maybe that would be better." It rarely is. We just need to reconsider our dreams, we need to dust them off and share them with one another and find a common ground where we can dream together once again. If we fought half as hard to save our marriages as we do to escape from them there would far less divorce in the world. That single dream you used to share is still worth fighting for, as are the dreams of other couples around us. I’m not sure if it was Winston Churchill or Tim Allen who said it, but I quote one of them when I say, "Never surrender, never give up." Never give up on that one dream you had back at the beginning ... and you will never regret it.

One Dream
Everyone starts with high hopes
When first they walk down the aisle
Each man and woman believes in love
And that carries them through a while
But in time the fairy tale bubble bursts
Amidst the pressures of daily life
The honeymoon ends, real life begins
Chipping away at a husband and wife
We all want to make our dreams come true
And when we marry we share a dream
Of living happily ever after
But that fades over time, it seems
Until one day we wake to discover
That we’re each chasing dreams of our own
Both dreaming in different directions
With each feeling more alone
Yet for marriage to last and flourish
We must discover a way
To graft our dreams to each other’s
A little more every day
To somehow make a single dream
A single hope we can share
One hope we can pray for together
About which each of us may care
For once we can dream together
With a single purpose and goal
At last, our dreams can really come true
With a future both bright and full
By Frank Carpenter ©