Living

We often are so preoccupied with the details of life that we can actually miss living altogether. To breathe, to move, to make noise-any animal can do this. We humans can feel and see, and think and dream, and live so far beyond the miniscule distractions of existence. Yet, we wallow in them, accomplish them, revere them … and are bound by them.

We have the choice each day and each moment to truly live, to reach within ourselves and not only find meaning, but make meaning in life. Even more importantly, we have the ability and privilege to help make life more beautiful and meaningful for others. It isn’t simply enough to earn and own and be respected. The measure of my life lies not only in how well I lived it, but how well I helped others to live theirs. If I should fail at everything but living, that would certainly be enough. Let us not waste a moment.

To Be a Blessing

While speaking to a friend earlier this week I was reminded of an important concept that really should be a focal point of our daily lives: being a blessing. So I began thinking about how I could be a blessing to other people. I’m hoping that I already am most of the time, but it hasn’t generally been a specific goal. At its root, this simply boils down to loving other people more than myself, proactively and with their best interest at heart. Isn’t that what life is all about, after all? As I consider the relationships we maintain within our different spheres of influence it becomes all together clear who I would like to be, and how I would like to be thought of by others. Whether at home or in the work place, with friends or family, coworkers or strangers, I desire to be a person who blesses others with my life. It makes all the sense in the world. Would you like to be a good husband or wife, a good friend or boss? Be a blessing. Do you want to be remembered fondly by your children and grandchildren? Be a blessing. Do you desire to be thought well of by your neighbors, coworkers or friends? Be a blessing. Would you like a lasting legacy that reaches beyond your own temporal life here? Be a blessing. Would you like to follow the bible’s commandments to honor God and love others? Be a blessing.

But what does that mean? How can we be a blessing to other people? It just requires considering what others people need and what would make them happy, then acting upon it. There are tangible blessings, which have to do with sharing, generosity and meeting tangible and physical needs. There are relational blessings, where we are conscious of the emotional needs of others and strive to fulfill them. There small and simple blessings, and ones with higher callings and purposes. Many are both. For instance, when I treat my wife and children well, complimenting, encouraging and appreciating them, I fulfill their short-term need to be loved. However, those same actions also create lasting legacy by setting the tone of my household, teaching others the language of love and building self esteem. Furthermore, doing so opens lines of communication. This is because people want to be blessed and treated well and when I do so it causes them to be open to me, adding more meaning to my words on a variety of subjects. Conversely, if I constantly deride people or mock them with satire they eventually build an emotional barrier between us which prevents me from hurting them … or having any positive impact upon them either. We all have people in our lives who are mean or tactless and over time we shut them off emotionally as a defense mechanism. Many parents even do this with their children, essentially abdicating the amazing God-given opportunity to be a blessing or have a meaningful emotional legacy. Rather, they create a legacy of pain and disappointment that children often carry with them for the rest of their lives. Yet, so many folks just can’t help making the negative and judgmental comments that hurt folks and drive them away. But let us dwell upon the positive for the sake of this discussion.

Most of us want to be people whom others desire to be with. We want to be the beloved spouse or parent, or the favorite aunt or uncle, or the friend so often thought of. That all begins with making a conscious effort to bless others with our lives. When we do so, it also turns out to be the gift that keeps on giving because when we encourage others it lifts them up and has an impact upon their lives. And to have played that part in the lives of others is a truly worthwhile legacy indeed. I fall far short of this lofty goal on a regular basis. I speak to quickly and thoughtlessly. I’m judgmental, and regularly fall into sarcasm that is far from my intended relational goals. However, I’m trying. I’m thinking about it. I’m praying about it. I’m practicing it. And that’s the point, really. Too many people simply imply, “I’m just not like that so take me as I am.” Those are the people who complain that they have no friends or that their grandkids never come and visit them. That’s not what I want for my life so I’m working hard to aim it in the other direction with deliberate acts of kindness and encouragement, and generosity. That’s what it means to be a blessing, and essentially what it means to love people as well. Just imagine what the world would be like if more of us were making such an effort. So start right now. Turn to the person next to you and compliment them. Pick up the phone and call you mom or friend or brother. Write a note, an email, or a text. Love people with whatever abilities God has given you and you will be a blessing. Oh, and here’s the best part … you will almost certainly be blessed back as well.

To Be a Blessing

There’s a lot of things to wish for
So much to aspire to

We all have lists of what we’d like

To accomplish before we’re through

Though I could fill up pages

With deeds as yet undone

In the end I think that my list

Could boil down to only one

I just want to be a blessing

To the people in my life

A husband and a father who

Always loves his kids and wife

A friend who can be counted on

A brother and a son

Who always gives his very best

Each day, to everyone

A man who serves his neighbors

And does his job in such a way

That he makes a difference in the lives

Of those he touches every day

I know it sounds a little simple

When there’s so much in life to do

It’s not the kind of mission statement

That we’ve grown accustomed to

But it would be enough for me

Though nothing else gets done

If I can simply be a blessing

Each day … to everyone

By Frank Carpenter ©