Celebrating Friendship

Today, I pause to celebrate the great unsung heroes of everyday life. Friends. This is an area where have been particularly blessed so I speak from the perspective of having had my own life enriched by the many people who have shared my journey. True and honest friends can help to make the worst of times more bearable, while increasing the enjoyment of the better chapters in life as well. Now, I actually include some family in this category because, in my opinion, “the best of friends are family and the best of family are friends.” Some people simply fall into our lives from heaven, which is an especially fine gift. However, there are other friendships which are earned over time. In such cases we may come to admire certain qualities in one another which draw us together, or come to someone’s aid in a difficult situation and a deeper friendship grows out of that interaction. Either way, a true friend is one of those people who we let into our hearts. The world is filled with acquaintances and folks we meet along the way, and many people build a life of relationships on that uncommitted host, only to find that in their hour of greatest need they are all alone … or that their moments of triumph lack a comrade to share in them. My exhortation for today is for each of us to be a friend. That is the secret of building a foundation of friendship in any life. We need to take a proactive approach to people in general and treat them as we would choose to be treated. Like a marriage (which is a friendship of the highest order) or any other relationship, friendship must be cultivated and nurtured and built over time and it will, inevitably, bring the occasional heartache as well. People aren’t perfect and they will definitely let us down, that is the nature of life. We will likely mistreat others as well, or at least have it perceived so. However, time proves out relationships and those which stand that test of time can become a source of boundless joy and encouragement. So take heart, take action … and take a chance, because there’s a whole wide world of friends out there just waiting to be discovered. And the way to find them is to be one.

Celebrating Friendship
There is always cause to celebrate
If one surrounds himself with friends
For the enjoyment of their fellowship
Is a gift which never ends
Through triumph and through tragedy
True friends are always near
To support and offer counsel
And a strength which casts off fear
A friend is there to guide you
Through the dark of blackest night
To offer wisdom when you falter
And to join you in the fight
Yet, when good fortune smiles as well
A friend should also share
In the joy which is compounded
By his simply being there
There is always cause to celebrate
When one is wise enough to see
How much more each moment lived can mean
In a true friend’s company
By Frank Carpenter ©

Passages

As we wander through this world, our lives are in a constant state of transition. Sometimes it may be subtle or imperceptible, like the hands of a clock, but we are all in motion … moving, growing, becoming. Perhaps that process seems more pronounced as this is the season of graduation. At this very moment, many dear friends are sharing the annual ritual of commencement at my own high school alma mater, where I am well-acquainted with several of those graduating today. In honor of those graduates I offer the following poem, which was written as I sat through several such ceremonies over the recent years. My take on the subject is the familiar metaphor of embarking upon an ocean voyage, a fitting perspective for this particular juncture in life. I add, as a point of information, that today marks a year and a half since my father’s passing at the end of 2003. This leaves me a little pensive, as I consider how the course of my own voyage has fared during these last difficult eighteen months. Whatever passage may lay ahead, my wish for you today is fine weather, fair winds and smooth sailing. May ever your course be true.

Passages
Life is filled with passages
Which lead from shore to shore
To islands and to continents
Where we’ve not been before
What the future holds for us
In those ports which lie ahead
Is difficult to see from here
Regardless what is said
However, if your training
Is complete and you prepare
For your passage, and the adventure
Which awaits us all out there
Then your journey, though difficult
Can be a fruitful and wondrous one
As you cross the trackless seas of life
From the rising to setting sun
Each passage begins with departures
When we cast off from the quay
Bidding farewell to things familiar
And choosing to sail away
Yet, we know at journey’s end
Across the expanse of blue
Shrouded in mists of the future
There are landfalls waiting for you
Today, as you stand upon the decks
With the halyards poised in hand
Preparing to leave the harbor’s safety
And bid your adieu to the land
Remember fondly what lies behind
In ports you have thus far known
But boldly turn and canvas raise
Striking out for coasts of your own
Though tempests may besiege you
Before your passage is through
May you sail courageously onward
And may ever your course be true
By Frank Carpenter ©

The Perfect Man

Lights, camera, movie review. Last night I had the opportunity to view an advance screening of “The Perfect Man,” which stars Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear and Chris Noth. Knowing nothing about this movie, I originally ignored the preview invitation as too frivolous. Upon announcing said action at home I was immediately accosted by my wife and daughter with cries of “hey, that’s our kind of movie.” A little homework revealed that it actually looked like a cute flick and I should give it a chance. So, in the immortal words of Stromboli, I proclaimed, “off to the theater.

“The Perfect Man” is the story of a single mom, played by Heather Locklear, struggling to raise two daughters on her own. The catch is that she’s so desperate to find a husband and settle down that she keeps settling for men who end up letting her down. Her quirky coping mechanism is that when those relationships inevitably fail she always moves the family to a new town to start over. In order to avoid the next move her sixteen year old daughter, played by Hilary Duff, invents an imaginary secret admirer, eventually played by Chris Noth, to cheer her mom up and prevent another move. Naturally, one little white lie leads to another until the entire situation gets completely out of hand. Even though Locklear plays the mother Hilary Duff is really the star and handles her role well enough. Yet, the plot is a little contrived at times and there are moments when the quality of dialogue leaves something to be desired. Nonetheless, while “The Perfect Man” isn’t likely to garner any Oscar nominations, it’s still a fun romp and offers the full roller coaster of emotions we’d expect from a good romantic comedy. Note that since the plot tends to focus more on Hilary Duff, the appeal for this particular story leans towards the teen audience. It’s still a great date-night movie and clean enough for the whole family. In fact, there is absolutely no sex, violence or profanity so this one gets the family friendly seal of approval. I believe folks will generally enjoy it and that it will perform well in the rental market once it comes out on video. Again, the Academy won’t take a second look at “The Perfect Man,” but it delivers all the love and laughs that it promises … and that’s perfect enough.
For more info visit www.theperfectmanmovie.com

The Untold Story

Some folks are just born lucky or smart … or something like that. However, most of us fall into the routine of daily life and eventually put our dreams on the back burner until they grow cold. We go to work every day and rarely think about them, except in those “what if” moments when we’re watching a sunset or staring blankly out of the car window. “Oh sure,” we tell ourselves. “That’s what I’d really like to do … someday.” How many somedays do you have tucked away in your attic? How many wrinkled sheets of paper have you scribbled upon, only to have them buried beneath a pile of bills and to do lists and other such paper weights of daily responsibility? Maybe we’ve just got our piles sorted wrong. Maybe we need to dust off our dreams and move them to the top of that pile. Once we have a job and a car and a house, maybe even some kids, then we tend to think that life is pretty much set and it might be dangerous, even treasonous, to upset the apple cart. Too many obligations. Too many responsibilities. Yet, I have learned that any life is still only set in wet cement. There’s some wiggle room. In fact, it’s all a matter of perspective. Some of the pages have already been written, but only the ones in the past. The days and years which lie ahead of us are still an untold story. They are blank pages, offering ample opportunity to tweak the plot. Today is just about over, but when you wake up tomorrow morning it will be a brand new day and we have the freedom, even the responsibility, to alter it for the better. Now don’t go doing anything crazy … at least not right away. I encourage you, though, to be open-minded. Think wet cement. Think clay. Think … possibility. Now close your eyes, take a deep breath, and then take a baby step in a completely different direction. Lots of your life still lies ahead so make the most of it.

The Untold Story
We each have an untold story
A whole life yet to live
With unlimited possibilities
To grow and become and give
We all have dreams within us
Waiting and longing to be explored
Too often, they fall by the wayside
Trampled, forgotten ... ignored
Until they are lost in the cobwebs
Withered by worry and care
We tuck them away in the attic
Of our hearts and forget they are there
Somehow, we simply stop dreaming
Working year after year, we grow old
Conceding the obvious course of life
We assume that the story’s been told
But while there is breath in our bodies
While there is hope in our hearts
The plot may still be refashioned
From second chances, even fresh starts
If we can but muster the courage
To dust off the dreams we once knew
Dare to dream them again wholeheartedly
We might see those dreams coming true
The most frightening, amazing, exciting thing
Precious, far beyond riches or gold
Is the wondrous, empty page of life
With its story about to unfold
By Frank Carpenter ©

The Crowd

It can be easy to lose yourself in the crowd of life. Everywhere we go there are so many people that we tend to wander through the crowd without actually noticing anyone. We’ve all got places to go and things to do and we’re focused in the next stop, the next project, the next off ramp, the next whatever. We don’t have time to notice individuals in the crowd, to make eye contact, to engage them in conversation. They’re strangers, for goodness sake, and everyone knows you’re not supposed to talk to them. So we blend in and keep moving. We look straight ahead, drive straight ahead, get our business done and get back to the safety of our own offices, neighborhoods or homes. Let’s face it, people are trouble. They have problems, they look different, they need help and, worst of all, some just want to talk. Yet, that attitude begins to soak into the rest of our lives. We slip out of church without a meaningful conversation or we pull into our garages without engaging with the neighbors – do we even know their names? But how much trouble is a smile, a hand shake, a wave or a kind word. You never know who might be lonely or hurting or aching for some kind of acknowledgment. That’s what loving our neighbors is all about. The funny thing about melting into the crowd of life is that, by default, we become nameless strangers ourselves. Rather, let us be the ones who cross the line, who break the ice and who make this world just a little better by our interaction with it. Whether you’re heading around the block or around the world today, my prayer for you is that you may learn to love the crowd. Who knows, it might just love you back.

The Crowd
Lord, may I learn to love the crowd
And not merely wander though it
To show some kindness to a stranger
Who would never guess I'd do it
To have compassion on the folks I meet
Whoever they may be
Regardless of what benefit
That act might have for me
Lord, give me love for people
Of every shape and size and creed
May I be a friend, not just to friends
But all who are in need
Break down the walls of selfishness
And fear that I have made
And build anew upon the cornerstone
Of love which You have laid
So that when I step out on the street
I step out none too proud
But, rather, with an open heart
Prepared to love the crowd
By Frank Carpenter ©

Cinderella Man

I had the opportunity last Thursday to watch an advance screening of the movie Cinderella Man, which I can highly recommend. First of all, it’s hard to go wrong with Ron Howard directing and Russell Crowe and Renee Zellweger in front of the camera. That being said, this amazing creative team does a commendable job of capturing the life of heavyweight boxer James J. Braddock, who was washed out and amazingly comes back to capture the title. The drama is set against the great depression and the first half of the movie, although a little slow, succeeds in painting the backdrop of that era in detail. I felt the pain and hopelessness of the period as I lived through it with the Braddock family and a nation brought to its knees. Besides being well-made and well-acted, this is an important movie about a time period that a prosperous America has mostly forgotten. It also represents a triumph of the human spirit in the face of overwhelming adversity, very much a Rocky meets Seabiscuit, where the common people find a hero to rally around in their darkest hour. The fact that it’s basically true makes it all the more appealing. As I mentioned, the first half was a little slow, but needed to be order to capture the pace of the depression. The second half was a little brutal, but needed to be as well. Also, I appreciate the story being told without any of the characters being so outrageous as to make them unbelievable, which so often happens.

As a conservative Christian I will also comment on the following: This is a great love story about a couple who remains married throughout the whole movie without having to cheat on each other. I also appreciate that they have a strong and romantic marriage, but the movie was made without including a sex scene. That’s a big win for parents who want their kids to be inspired by the story and history, but don’t want the sex. Nor do I - I actually close my eyes during sex scenes because many of them really boil down to soft porn in my opinion. Additionally, profanity is mostly only used when appropriate. Clearly there is violence as it’s a boxing movie, but it is also not overly gratuitous or any more gruesome than necessary. In conclusion, this movie is a win whether I’m wearing my generic critic hat or my fundamentalist conservative pundit hat. In other words, it has lots of good without having to fall back on the vices in order to tell the story. That gives it a top rating in my book. So if you haven’t yet, go see Cinderella man. And tell a friend.

Out of the Ashes

All of experience defining moments at some time in our lives. Those moments, when we make the difficult choices, can make or break a life so we must choose carefully. However, I’m also a firm believer that every day brings fresh opportunity to start over and do the right thing. It may be difficult, it might be painful, and the path may be marred by the consequences of our previous choices, but we can at least start out wherever we are and trudge in the right direction. It’s easy to give up and simply concede, “oh well, this is my life.” However, that can only be so if we give into it. I also firmly believe that God is a God of second chances. That’s what salvation is all about. The very nature of the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross acknowledges that we have sinned and fallen short, but it also offers redemption and the shot at a second chance, a new beginning. In today’s poem I have contrasted two key New Testament characters who turned their backs on Jesus during the same fateful night, yet their lives had very different outcomes. Those two men are Judas and Peter. I grant that Judas’ fate may have been an immoveable part of God’s plan, but choose to highlight the fact that his life was permanently defined by his choice to betray Christ. Peter, on the other hand, betrayed His master that same night. Yet, his life is defined by how he faithfully rose above that moment. In our own lives, we often have the choice to be broken by our failures or to grow past them, and through them. I don’t know where you are in the pile right now, but if you feel like it’s on top of you take heart. Your road may be longer and more difficult because of your poor choices, which is only natural, yet you may well be able to dig yourself out and make good. My point today is this: don’t give up, don’t give in. God is a God of second chances who, if we are willing to call on Him, will not forsake us. He offers hope … not only for today, but for a bright eternal future as well.

Out of the Ashes
Both men were friends of Jesus
each a follower of the Way
Having walked the path beside Him
until that fateful day
When their faiths would both be tested
to determine their destiny
And each would take his chosen place
in the pages of history
Their names were Peter and Judas
two of the twelve that Jesus chose
To be His friends and disciples
so the bible story goes
But something happened that day
when the path those men had shared
Diverged forever and led them
on journeys for which they were unprepared
Each had pledged himself to Christ
yet each in his own way
Turned his back upon the Lord
before the following day
Judas betrayed his master
and for silver sold Him out
While Peter three times denied Him
the last with an oath and shout
Each of them failed Jesus
and did so quite utterly
Yet that is where their stories
end in similarity
Judas’ failure defined him
as a vessel of wrath he became
Unto this day he is still remembered
and ever accursed is his name
But Peter rose from his failure
maturing into the cornerstone
That God chose to build His church upon
and the rest of his story is known
All of us fail on occasion
we’re only human after all
But we can still rise from the ashes
and live the life for which we are called
For even when we betray Him
God can turn our lives around
He can pull us out of the quicksand
and place us back on solid ground
Our failures don’t have to define us
they can become the stepping stones
God uses to change this world, and us
if we lay them before His throne
And allow the Lord to transform them
into God-given opportunity
We can rise from the ashes of failure
to fulfill our eternal destiny
By Frank Carpenter ©