Fathers Day

Well, here we are on Fathers Day. Like most holidays on the calendar, this one is set aside to honor a particular group of important people which I have the great honor and pleasure to count myself among. My own children are far away and, since it was a busy morning just getting out the door to church, I didn’t give much thought to the occasion until the Fathers Day service began. Once it got under way, however, the full spectrum of emotions began to descend upon me. First of all, I was suddenly missing my own grown children and feeling nostalgic about past Fathers Days with little kids around to add their special magic. Those thoughts were heightened by the fact that just yesterday we were cleaning out old boxes in the garage and I had stumbled upon old Fathers Day art they had created in Kindergarten and First Grade. It’s tough to top those kinds of memories. This day is also somewhat somber because it reminds me of my own father, who passed away at the end of 2003. I don’t think about him every day, but there are certain days like this one which can be quite difficult for me. This is especially true because we had a very rich and long standing Fathers Day tradition with another family at an amazing estate up in the hills. That tradition continued for the last few years, even after his passing, but it was discontinued this year. Even when I was young, my dad wasn’t always around that much and during his later years he often lived far away. However, he usually came into town for Fathers Day, which I believe was more important to him even than Christmas. Now I find that losing him, along with our recently discontinued celebration, leave an enormous hole in this day for me. All that being said, I have also been blessed with the most amazing step-dad in history. He came into my life at exactly the right moment and filled all the gaps in my own father’s shortcomings during the formative years of my youth. I’m clearly and unabashedly opposed to divorce and I know that it causes significant emotional damage to a great many children. Somehow, however, God brought me through all that unscathed and gave me the perfect second dad. My real father was the distant and stern disciplinarian, the classic mythical father of that generation, but he didn’t excel at passing on all of the day to day lessons of life. My step-father, on the other hand, turned out to be the expert in that area. He is the shining example of love and devotion who was at the dinner table every night and participated in every imaginable and inconvenient activity we could dream up to test him with. And in that sense, he is just as much my dad. Perhaps the most important lesson I learned from him for my own parenting is that fathers are made of blood, but dads are made of love. While this day is poignant in its sorrow for me personally, because of my loss, there is also great consolation in the fact that I have been twice blessed with fathers. Most men cannot claim to have found such good fortune. Now I realize many folks may read this who come from homes with painful memories and may not even feel as though they were blessed with one good father. There is, however, ample opportunity to celebrate other relationships around us. We’ve all had mentors and other family members who have participated in fatherly roles. We can also honor wonderful fathers in our extended families and acquaintances, as well as being good fathers ourselves. Even if we didn’t receive an honorable legacy in this area, we do have the opportunity to pass one on to our own children. That is the choice all of us can make. In conclusion, I must simply wish a happy Fathers Day to all of you and encourage you to show appreciation to the men in your life who are so deserving of it. All the best to you! God bless and farewell for now.