The Measure of a Man

Today is the first anniversary of my father’s passing. It was a dreadful week of dreadful news, airplane flights, hospital visits, difficult decisions and losing my dad. Needless to say, it made for a world record rotten Christmas. Time passes, however, and time heals. As I look back over this past year, I find that I am at peace with my loss and with the part it has played in my emotional life. Upon reflection, I have also come to understand that a man’s legacy has nothing to do with his estate. It has to do with people. If you made a difference, if people love you and choose to carry you with them in their hearts after you are gone, that is legacy enough to make a life count for something. That is the measure of a man. My tribute to my father, then, is my own life and how he helped to shape it. Once again, so long, Pop.

The Measure of a Man
What is the measure of a man
So much more than himself, I find
A man can’t be measured all alone
But by those he leaves behind
Show me a trail of kindness
Of love and of character
Friends and family that he leaves
Are a legacy that will endure
Some build sky scrapers to the clouds
Others conquer the mountains and seas
But all of their efforts are folly unless
They won the hearts of their families
The words that we chisel in granite
Are a poor substitute, at best
Show me the lives of the folks he loved
Of the ones who lay him to rest
As we say goodby to any man
The best of him lives with us yet
They are the measure of his life
And one we shall never forget
By Frank Carpenter ©

Tomorrow, I’ll be back with another Christmas poem, but it seems appropriate to close with the poem I wrote on Christmas Eve last year as I flew home from my father’s death bed. Then I will move on and look forward to this year’s Christmas.

Epilogue
I signed the papers at the hospital
All the arrangements have been made
Called his closest friends and family
Obligatory visits paid
Tied up the loose ends at the ranch
Raced to the airport, once again
On the cell phone constantly
And I can’t remember when
I have ever been this tired
Felt so empty or so spent
The time I hoped was for reflection
Or for long walks came and went
Now I’m finally on the airplane
With my cell phone packed away
Where no one can reach me for a while
For a few brief hours today
There is so much left to think about
So many tears to cry
But I’ve made my peace with dad and God
So I lean back with a sigh
Knowing that I’ve done my duty
To myself ... to everyone
There comes a time to say "enough"
For now, my work is done
So I close my eyes to thank God
For the tender mercies He
Has shown throughout these dark days
As I felt Him comfort me
The path of grief and sorrow
Through the darkness, broad and deep
Shall wait until tomorrow
As now, mercifully, I sleep
By Frank Carpenter ©