The Child Within

Today, we will briefly discuss the subject of children and sports. There is a delicate balance to be discovered in parenting children who are involved in competitive athletics. We want them to learn the game, to develop coordination and conditioning, and to benefit from the dynamics of the team experience. We also hope they might discover an area of particular giftedness in which to excel. Most kids love the experience and benefit from it in many ways. However, I am concerned that sometimes we ask too much, or rather expect too much. We all want our children to succeed and often look to athletics as a means for developing life skills which may assist them in that endeavor. Nonetheless, some children may take their sports too seriously. That may well be due to the fact that many parents do the same. It’s only natural for us to be their biggest fans and encourage them towards victory in their chosen activities. In some cases, though, too much emphasis can be placed on performance. This often occurs when us parents, especially dads, begin to live vicariously through our young athletes. Admit it, we’ve all been there. It’s not just about playing, it becomes about winning. And, at least emotionally, if they win ... we win. The problem with getting too wrapped up within their victory, even if only by perception, is that it creates additional stress on a young person who may not be entirely equipped yet to deal with it. We must be careful, therefore, to keep the game in perspective because, after all, it’s only a game. It teaches life lessons. It emulates adult and professional performances, but it is still just a game. Let me here clarify that I am not at all against youth athletics. We, as adults, just need to keep them in perspective so that our children may glean as much from the experience as possible without experiencing undue stress. Now some kids will actually have the talent to carry their athletics into adulthood and we need to give them the opportunity to nurture such dreams ... so long as those dreams are their own. I offer the following poem today for your perusal. The fact that it is written about a female athlete is not intended as any gender-based commentary. It just so happened that the athlete who moved me to creativity was a young lady. So let’s sign them up, buy their uniforms, help to coach them, cheer at all of their games and offer them all of the support they need and deserve. As parents, however, let’s keep everything in perspective so that in the course of helping them to develop their minds and bodies we don’t break their hearts along the way.

The Child Within
On the outside, a finely tuned athlete
Honed and trained to perform at her peak
Every joint, every muscle, a running machine
No rewards for the slow or the weak
On the outside, the legs of the swift gazelle
The strength, the speed and the grace
With a mind and limbs of tempered steel
No emotions betrayed on her face
Yet, beneath the hardened exterior
And shoulders that carry of weight of the world
Beyond the strength, the cunning and speed
There beats the heart of a little girl
By Frank Carpenter ©